A Criminally Vulgar Blog

The Most Bizarre Google Searches That Have Found My Blog

2011-12-27T18:46:00.000-05:00

Yes, I went through all 4,400+ search terms that led people to this blog. Without further ado, the best of the best...

Leading off with "Horrible Typos and Grammar Shortcomings:"

sexual relatinship valgar
angelina jolie boops
are women who are he she real
best style of ideal focking
dejvid boreanaz - I like how he spelled Boreanaz right and David wrong
first look at caracell mall
herrington sabres galisano
how do i win at internet
j have a small penis and my prefere wife the big black penis
i want to be a porn stare
ultimaye surrendet male version free vodeo
valger sex craim

Fags

Derek Roy Gay
brad richards gay or girlfriend
bryan murray's lisp be cured?
gay wargames
gays rubbing their dicks
halloween gay pissing psycho
justin bieber likes to suck penis
you're all retarded fags
is tomas vanek gay?

Important Questions

how to satisfy a girl while making sex relation
is eric staal good in bed?
what about timothy olyphant?
what does the phrase "criminally vulgar" mean?
what is this about derek roy being a locker room cancer
where does the penis go in the vagina
why are pittsburgh steeler fan so obnoxious
why are women lazy in the sack
why do hate sedins
are there rapes at carousel center

Irrefutable Truths

Fat Steelers Fan
This gave me erectile Dysfunction
bandwagonburgh
cat gave me a boner
being an islander fan sucks
best blog ever vulgar
Cam ward sucks
cost of watching 17 flyers fans beat the shit out of a devils fan priceless
girls are doing shitting & pissing
i'm gonna touch her titties
intelligent women sport shorter hair
linda cohn is a stupid bitch
my cat bullies me
oh that's awesome girl
phil kessel down syndrome
rick nash was cute when he was skinny
sidney crosby pays for hookers
we speak the same language bjork
zombies ate my penis
you make me want to falcon punch babies

What the hell?

Peyton Manning Illegitimate Children
Tom Brady Illegitimate Children
things that have a 1 in 4 chance of happening
pat kaleta legos
thomas ashley vanek
swallowed promise ring
tim connolly werewolves writing
a brief history of my thumb
biron fight with rick jeanneret
blue circular hazmat suit sticker
duck shitting on redwing jersey
hate the bruins poem
mike grier stats "hat trick"
mother teresa touching
pilgrims dying time
quebec snowman thing
racist animorphs
sabres flyers poop photo
thomas vanek fan fiction
tim connolly disgusting fetishes
vulgar poems for fat guys
vulgar version of beverly hillbilly lyrics
zombie alexander hamilton
вино strawbery

I Have Learned Far Too Much About The Masturbatory Habits Of Strangers

Starcraft Porn
cats and erectile dysfunction
fucking dolphin
michele bachmann bdsm
opium den women
orgasm skirt
bear dicks
green man boner
herpes porn
hockey tits bruins
i showed dick to kid i first grade
kids penis
mickey mouse porn
nhl nude
rooting around in her rump
school yard penis from space
starcraft nude tower defense
titty coming out of a pussy
toddlers penis norm
trent dilfer butt photos
vintage dutch sex
weckpussy
zdeno charas fat penis

Zdeno Chara's fat disfigured caveman penis indeed.

CV Cast - Senators 3

2011-12-20T23:24:00.000-05:00

Transgenderism and Gender Fluidity (Not Safe for Work - Sexuality)

2011-12-19T22:23:00.000-05:00

I'd like to think I can say I haven't struggled with this topic because I have a pretty good sense of self, but that wouldn't be true. I think I get more hung up on the terminology more than anything. Gender-fluid, gender-queer...both of these things fit me...and then they don't. I always had an inkling that a part of me was supposed to be female, but at my core I am probably a male with some female sensibilities. What does that make me? I don't know. And I think that as we move forwards, my transgender identity is going to shrink because these things that I identify with are going to be applied to a specific gender less and less. So I'm left with something that not only doesn't fit, but also may not be long for this world.

Perhaps I should take a step back and define Transgenderism. To most people it means boys who want to be girls and vice versa, but it actually encompasses a lot more. You can be considered transgendered if:

You feel you’re the opposite gender as your biological sex (and in some cases have the brain chemistry of you preferred gender despite your anatomical representation)
You’re born with multiple sets of sex organs.
You’ve undergone a transition from male to female or vice versa, whether it includes changing clothing, taking hormones, undergoing surgery, or all of the above.
You crossdress.
You consider yourself to be both genders, or without gender (This is me a little.)
Your gender varies from day to day.
You don’t feel like you fit the stereotypes of one gender or another well enough to identify as such. (This is perhaps where I fit best.)

It’s that last one that really gets to me because I think it at least partially describes every human being that has ever existed. A lot of the things that make you one gender or another are based on arbitrary rules. Men wearing their hair shorter than women, or women wearing dresses. We see these things and they help us identify someone as male or female, but more and more we find out that that’s very vague, and ultimately untenable. And there's no real reason why those things have to apply to either gender at all.

So I’m like…yeah I’m a guy…I guess, I mean I have the correct anatomy (big anatomy)…but I’m partial to thongs, and androgynous clothes (i.e. pants and shirts) cut and sewn to fit women, and I like pink (pink, not douchebag frat boy salmon) and I like girls that look and act like men. And I hate working on cars and I hate action movies. I prefer romantic comedies and love stories. But I play sports and am one of the toughest people I know. And one of the most emotionally empathetic and sensitive. It's like trying to put together picture with pieces from a bunch of different pictures.

I'm not sure if a recent incident has crystallized things for me, or muddled them even more. I was asked to fill out a form today that had spaces to indicate race and gender. I figured I could leave both questions blank, and am fairly certain I am legally allowed to do so. However the proctor would not take my form until I filled them out, going as far as to tell me, “you would put down male and white.” My jaw almost dropped at that one. How stupid do you have to be to work in human resources, where you’re trained all damn day on sensitivity, to take one look at someone and say, ‘oh, you’re white.’ Are you fucking kidding me?

Obviously what is more applicable to me is the gender aspect of that…which…whatever. Even though it was an incredibly (INCREDIBLY) offensive thing to say, I’m not sure there is much that offends me terribly on a personal level. I think I was more aghast at her stupidity, and then disappointed at her stupidity than anything. It adds another complication to a gender identity that is currently unclear. I have to admit that seeing things put into a rigid black and white (or perhaps pink and blue) format made me extremely uncomfortable. The more I had to check male or female on each form, the worse I felt.

At the end of all this, I feel as I often do when trying to tackle gender identity, overwhelmed. There is so much there to dissect, and so little of it clear. It sucks to not be able to put a finger on a part of yourself, but perhaps it's best to move forward with that in mind. After all, as we continue to try to categorize people, we realize further how futile that really is.

Flexibility is a Good Thing

2011-12-19T19:34:00.000-05:00

On Twitter I follow a guy who uses the handle @nxtArrowpres who tweets a lot about nontraditional business practices like letting your employees have more vacation, unlimited flex time and so on. It all goes back to one thing, comfortable employees make the best employees.

What you think about it the current business model is really stupid. You pack up your shit in the morning to leave the place that brings you the most comfort to go to a place with several rules that seemed designed to make you uncomfortable. If you're doing it right, you spend more of your waking time during the week at this uncomfortable place than you do at home.

If you're anything but a bachelor with no life, this can be a huge source of stress. What if the kids get sick, who's going to take the dog out, how am I going to find time to eat, can I make it to the store before it closes, what can I do for the girlfriend's birthday without compromising work? It gets worse when you factor in the commute. Driving is stressful enough alone, but adding a half hour to two hours to the time you're spent away from managing your life is even worse.

This baffles me. Why companies want to ensure the stress of their employees is beyond me, especially when the solutions are so simple.

In the world of high speed internet, cheap scanners, and VOIP the necessity of being in the office has all but disappeared. I honestly can't tell you a single thing that I do at work that I couldn't take care of at home in the comfort of PJ pants while being able to take the dog out. And not only does this make me a better worker (and more willing to work), but it actually saves the company money because I use fewer resources.

It's not like flextime is all that difficult either. Studies show that employees that are allowed to set their own hours (so long as they meet deadlines and company goals) are not only happier, but also more productive. Not everyone fits into the 8-5 box, so why force them to? If someone wants to work 10-7, let them.

I feel like we stick to the old model because that's the way things always been, which offers absolutely no advantage whatsoever.

CV Cast - Leafs

2011-12-16T23:04:00.001-05:00

Tim Tebow: American Dickbag

2011-12-07T20:14:00.000-05:00

Look...from all accounts, Tim Tebow is the nicest human being on the planet. I have no idea what his actual position is on LGBT rights or same sex marriage. What I do know is that Tebow put his face and star power to an organization called Focus on the Family, advertising during last year's Super Bowl.

Focus on the Family was founded in 1977 by James Dobson in Colorado Springs, Colorado, the same man who would go on to found the Family Research Council with whom FotF is closely affiliated (more on them later).

As you would expect, FotF is against same sex marriage and has gone on at length about how it is the road to society's destruction, about par for the course for a religious group. FotF also goes on to say that same sex marriage will lead to "unstable homes for children," a claim that has not been substantiated in any reputable study. In fact the American Psychological Association and the Royal College of Psychiatrists (UK) have specifically stated that Focus on the Family has no scientific research to back up its claims.

Focus on the Family has also come under fire from researchers across the country for distorting their work. Researcher Judith Stacey pointed out that one of her studies that is frequently cited as evidence that children are harmed by same sex households only compared two parent households to single parent households with no mention of same sex parentage at all. Researcher Elizabeth Saewyc had her study on teen suicides used to promote Conversion Therapy where gays are forced to "be straight" even though the study linked those suicides to harassments like conversion therapy and an outside push to "be normal."

And Focus on the Family is the GOOD cop among the two organizations. The Family Research Council is far, far worse.

The FRC was founded by the same person in the same state in 1983. Right now it's headed by Tony Perkins and its messages are spread by Senior Fellow for Policy Studies Peter Sprigg. Where to even begin? For starters, the FRC has been designated as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center, who made its name fighting the Klan and other discriminatory groups several decades ago. The list of distortions and lies the FRC has made is extensive. Some of the lowlights:

Claiming domestic violence happens at a high level in LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered) relationships.
Citing "private sources" in saying that gay appointee David Hansell would cut funds from states that bar gay marriage.
Connecting homosexuality and pedophilia.
Citing the research of Paul Cameron, who has been discredited by virtually every reputable Psychiatric association in the United States and Canada.
Using data from the 70s and 80s to make the case against same sex relationships when said data has been thoroughly debunked.

It gets worse. (Going to continue quoting Holy Bullies here.) The FRC has said...

"Hatred for men is typical of a lesbian experience."
"Homosexuals say they don't want children, but boy they put a lot of energy into going after them."
"The homosexual rights movement has tried to distance itself from pedophilia, but only for public relations purposes."
"There is a strong undercurrent of pedophilia in the homosexual subculture."
"You don't have to eat the stale crumbs off the dirty floor, which is basically what lesbianism is."
that the Employee Non-Discrimination Act is a "Crossdresser Protection Bill."
LGBT individuals suffer from several ills (like depression) at higher rates while failing to acknowledge that the cause of those ills is homophobia and harassment, not being LGBT.
that studies prove that gay men and women are more promiscuous, even though those studies were performed before gay marriage was legal.

At the risk of being redundant, I will stop there. The FRC has harped on the same points over and over again, that LGBT individuals are less healthy (false), that they are more likely to molest children (false), and that they make worse parents (false).

Perhaps most reprehensible is that the FRC continues to oppose legislation that would curtail bullying, even in the wake of several teen suicides. That the FRC can not only ignore teen suicides, but actually take active measures to ensure they continue is nothing short of disgusting.

Where does Tim Tebow fall in all of this? Like I said, I don't know. But what I do know is that he donated his face and his star power to Focus on the Family. That alone is bad enough.

CV Cast - Predators

2011-12-03T23:16:00.001-05:00

Loser's GDT - Predators

2011-12-03T23:15:00.000-05:00

Barry Trotz vs. Lindy Ruff tonight...with all the changes in coaching staffs going on around the league recently, it's UNBELIEVABLE these guys have been in their positions since 1997!!!
(Drink)
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Nice nipples on Trotz.
(what?)
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Tootoo was trying to make something happen, had no where else to go but jump...not really his fault
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My Lord Tootoo, you are effin stupid.
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You guys can't be serious... Tootoo 100% deserves whatever he gets. That was a dumb decision by him.
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These Buffalo announcers suck....calling for an immediate suspension for Toots.....

Toots was heading across Miller's crease, NOT towards Miller himself.
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Regardless of what just happened, we don't deserve to be losing, let alone down 2-0.
(Lol, dumbass)
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Agree. Tootoo has to make a better decision. I mean, he lost the puck and continued into the goalie. What did he expect? Especially since this is Miller's first game back.

Dumb move, Toots. I can't defend this jackassery.
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MSG just interviewed Ryan Miller, he said he didn't think the Tootoo hit was entirely intentional and I agree. Although I will say that Tootoo is a professional athlete in the sport that requires the most situational awareness so I find it hard to believe that he didn't have some idea of where he was and what he was doing.

I like the Nashville crowds' energy, just wish they were a bit more voluminous. Also, I wish they would put their ice girls in a bit less clothing. No bare midriff? For shame.

I liked the response to the hit aside from one thing. I wish Paul Gaustad would have had the presence of mind to point at the $7 million sack of cash sitting on Nashville's bench with no helmet. Far bigger statement.
(Okay that one was me.)
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Driving Pet Peeves

2011-11-30T22:36:00.000-05:00

Since I go to Buffalo and/or Rochester 2-3 times a month and have a 40 minute commute to work each morning and evening, I’ve racked up quite a few miles on the road. With that comes quite a few things that moronic drivers do that piss me off. My commute is split pretty evenly between interstate and non-interstate driving so I’ll cover both.

Interstate/Thru-wa
Taking a Calendar Year to Pass Someone at 68 mph/Abusing the Left Hand Lane
The left hand lane is for passing and passing quickly and/or for driving 110 when your wife is in labor or your dad’s having a heart attack. If you can’t use it right you need to get the god damn hell out of the way. If you want to piddle along at 65 mph to save gas, that’s fine. I do it all the time, but there’s a lane for that. Look in your rear view mirror once in a while so you can see if there’s a line of cars behind you that circumnavigates the globe.

Truck Drivers, I know this is unavoidable and there’s only so much speed you can coax out of your rig, but for the love of god choose your spots a little better. Swinging your truck in front of me before I can get by when there is NO ONE IN SIGHT behind me is a total dick move.

Rubbernecking
This one is truly awful in cities and it happens on a daily basis in Rochester. You’re going along just fine until you meet some congestion. Incensed you continue at 30 mph until you get to the scene of the incident…only to find out that it’s someone with a flat tire that isn’t blocking any lanes or impeding any traffic. But because of the sheer volume and the tendency of drivers to slow down and gawk, things have come to a crawl. This highlights the stupidity of drivers in bright neon pink.

Slowing down to below the speed limit when you see a cop
Not only is this utterly ridiculous, but it’s also incredibly dangerous, especially if said driver doesn’t look in their mirrors before stomping the brakes. Look, the guy is not only stopped on the side of the road, but HE’S NOT EVEN IN HIS SQUAD CAR. He doesn’t give a shit that you’re going 70 in a 65…AND…even if you are going thirty mph over the speed limit, you’ll be long gone before he can do anything about it.

Tailgating
Yes I’m in the left hand lane and I’m not going as fast as you, but I’m still going 78 and I have ONE GODDAMN CAR to pass. I will be out of your way in less than ten seconds. Are you seriously trying to pass me on the right now even though I already have my signal on showing I’m getting out of your way? You fucking asshole.

Not Using a Turn Signal to Change Lanes
This one absolutely terrifies me because people will wing their vehicles from lane to lane like they’re driving go-karts at the fair. I’ve actually physically seen it cause accidents in front of me. It’s even worse when you’re heading by a long line of cars on the right knowing that any one of them could decide “fuck this, I’m passing these tards” at any moment and slam into your passenger door.

City and Back Roads
Not Driving the Speed Limit in Perfect Weather
This one is the worst for me. I drive an hour and twenty minutes total a day, I don’t want to spend five extra minutes sitting behind you dicking around at 40 mph in a 55 because you’re 900 years old. It’s dangerous anyways. If you’re too old to maintain speed either hit a tree before you hit another driver or turn in your license.

Passing to Get to Red Lights Faster
There are a few areas I drive that are long strips of commercial areas with a dozen or so lights. It’s amazing how many assholes will race in front of me and then cut me off only to be sitting in front of me at the next red light. Utterly unnecessary.

Horribly Set Up Traffic Lights
There is so much to fall under this category. First has to be the weight sensor lights that don’t pick up my tiny ass car. Right behind them has to be the lights that are time based and don’t operate on any sensors. Nothing like sitting at a red light with no other cars around. And all municipalities have to do is turn the lights into blinking reds (essentially a stop sign) from 1-4am. Also, while "no-turn-left-on-green lights" are useful in some areas, they’re horribly abused in others. There’s one traffic light by my house that violates all of the above. Fuck that thing.

Doesn’t Understand Yield Sign Guy
This one goes into two categories, the guy that treats it like a stop sign when there’s no one else around and the guy that doesn’t even acknowledge its existence. Both incredibly dangerous.

Souped up Car Guy
Good job, you modded your Honda Civic. Join a racing league instead of showing off in the Wal-Mart parking lot. I wish I could neuter you so you can’t reproduce.

Poorly Maintained Intersections
A lot of you probably don’t live in the country and don’t deal with this as much, but I see it every day. There are a lot of long straight roads with almost no traffic by my house which encourages people to drive like idiots. There are also a lot of intersections with poor visibility because the woods are overgrown or a house has built its garden out to the right of way. I don’t need to highlight the dangers of having to pull halfway into an intersection just to see on a road where people often go 90+ mph, do I?

Culture Change

2011-11-30T21:38:00.000-05:00

As various hate groups try to link the Penn State and Syracuse University (investigation pending) scandals with the evils of homosexuality, it has become clear that they are right in a sense, just not in the way they think. There is a connection between homosexuality and the sex scandals, and it extends beyond to STD prevention, abortion prevention, teen pregnancies, and sexual education. What is abundantly clear is that this country needs a culture change in the worst way.

The taboo nature of sex and all things sexual has allowed misinformation and fear to run rampant. Part of the reason that it takes so long for molestation and abuse victims to come forward is because society tells them it’s not an okay thing to talk about. Part of the reason the United States is one of the worst countries in terms of overall reproductive health (including STD rates, teen pregnancy rates, and abortion rates) is because programs like abstinence-only/superior sex education are pushed in over 80% of our public schools. It shows, with emphasis, how stuck in the stone age we really are.

The taboo nature of sex has worked to fight an insidious two-front battle. It pushes abuse victims into hiding and Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered individuals into the closet fostering an epidemic of poor mental, social, and emotional health in this country AND it makes society wholly incapable of dealing with these things when they are pushed into the limelight because real information has been made so sparse.

Given what science has come to discover about gender alone, that it is more fluid than we thought, that brain chemistry and genetics and anatomy are not always in sync, that anatomical males can have female brain chemistry and cells and vice versa, it is absolutely stunning how strictly we adhere to our preconceived categorizations of such things. But therein lies the problem, the information is so buried under our cultural prudishness that people don’t know enough to question the status quo. Transgendered individuals are freaks, homosexuality is wrong, and marriage has a very ironclad definition.

And what’s even worse is that the solution remains equally buried. We can combat the bullying of LGBT individuals with legislation, but that merely assigns a negative value to actions, it doesn’t address the root of the problem, people growing up in a culture of ignorance and misinformation. We can try to introduce birth control to teenagers to stop the spread of STDs and teen pregnancies, but that does nothing for the teens that are too afraid of their parents’ wrath to have condoms on hand to use, or mothers and fathers too stupid to allow their teenage daughters on birth control. We can pass age of consent laws, but an eighteen year old virgin with little sexual education is no better equipped to handle sex than a fifteen year old of the same status.

I can’t bring myself to believe that there is no solution. I can’t bring myself to believe that an aversion to sex is so deeply ingrained in who we are as Americans that we will never be able to escape from its clutches. Perhaps all we need is time, after all we’re talking about a culture change. That does not typically happen with any haste. I think we’re seeing it already as LGBT rights not only move into the realm of ‘mainstream issue,’ but continue to build support and lose detractors by the day. But we’re not there yet…we’re not even close. I hope that my kids will see us move at least a little further.

Stevie Johnson and the TD Celebration of Doom

2011-11-28T21:07:00.000-05:00

For those of you that don't know, Bills receiver Stevie Johnson, after scoring an early touchdown Sunday mocked Jets' receiver Plaxico Burress by miming shooting himself in the leg and falling over. Just about everyone in the sports media has said that it was out of line, which means (much like Randy Moss's mooning of the Lambeau crowd) that it was hilarious.

I don't really have a problem with what Stevie did other than that he took it far enough to draw a penalty. I, for the life of me, cannot see the line he crossed in making fun of someone not only stupid enough to shoot himself in the leg in a nightclub, but to also do it with a gun that was illegally owned. Now granted I think the penalty Plaxico got was harsh especially considering that it wasn't typical NFL thuggery and that Plaxico had the gun registered in another state. But let's not lose sight of the big picture here, Plaxico Burress is an idiot and is in no way not deserving of ridicule.

That people are getting so riled up about this and not say Vince Wilfork or Ndamukong Suh throwing cheapshots at opposing players left and right, or getting himself arrested. Last I checked what Stevie Johnson did was harmless. Bunch of fucked up priorities in the NFL.

CV Cast - Capitals

2011-11-26T22:33:00.003-05:00

Loser's GDT - Capitals

2011-11-26T22:33:00.000-05:00

sabres d core for tonight's game, accoring to one of their fans.

Sekera-Ehrhoff
McNabb-Leopold
Gragnani-Brennan

that's:

if the caps dont score 3/4+ in a win, that's:
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It's conflicting when you want your team to win tonight but you also want another loss since there's a big feeling Boudreau could be fired.
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Quitter-quitter-quitter
Quitter-quitter-nevercared
Quitter-quitter-quitter
Quitter-quitter-quitter

Quitter-quitter
Pylon-quitter
Pylon-quitter

Quitter
Quitter
(Caps lines)
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RT @BenRaby31 #Caps Dennis Wideman: First 10 games this season: 3G,7A & plus-7. His last 10 games: 0G, 3A & minus-11. (Holy shit.)
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Can't blame anyone but coon on that one. No a like a goal scorer took that shot... (wut?)
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I dont know how they can call that a dive especially after Pominvilles display when Backstrom barely touched him.
(I completely agree on the latter part.)
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Dang Laich just got bowled over by Sekera. Now that is amazing.
(*Nods*)
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LOL....Alan May still going...

"Locker the Caps had an 8 game losing streak last Dec, followed by a 7-0 loss in MSG. What's worse, that or basically losing the Rochester Americans tonight?"
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CV Cast - Bruins 2

2011-11-24T02:37:00.001-05:00

Working - What I've Learned So Far

2011-11-22T23:16:00.000-05:00

1). This is a Two Way Street

Interview tips and good work practices leave one thing out...it isn't just about getting a job and keeping it, it's about finding a fit that's beneficial to both company and employee. I know early on in my career I over-valued what the company gave to me, and undervalued what I was giving to the company. That will not happen again. No company will think twice about kicking an employee to the curb for not holding up their end of the bargain. For too long employees have failed to hold their employers to the same standard.

2). All I Know is that I Know Nothing

Some of the best teachers and some of the best co-workers I've had were the ones that had little more experience than I did. Saying "I don't know" can be difficult in an economy where it's impress or get out, but often it's the right response to a question. The good coworkers will be aware of your level of experience and be looking to shore up their own and learn with you. The most infuriating teacher's I've had in the corporate world were the ones that were too pig headed to give an idk response and blathered on incessantly to satisfy their own lack of confidence.

3). You Usually Have One of Two Things...The Tools to Succeed, or the Ability to Acquire Them, so Be Confident

My current job is the one in which I've entered with the least applicable experience, and yet the one at which I've excelled the most. A big part of that is confidence, going back to my high school mentality of "I can figure out anything given the time." For the most part jobs aren't about a great depth of knowledge, but acquiring good experience.

4). This is a Two Way Street Part II

If a coworker or a boss is being a dick, call them on it. It's not up to you to figure out how to get along with everybody, it's up to them to meet you halfway. I had a boss (who was partially responsible for training me) that treated me like I didn't exist (except when something went wrong). When it was brought up during an evaluation, promises of more interaction were made. They were unkept. In fact, that person's boss started belittling me to be more engaging. I should have called them both on it.

5). Never Get So Busy Making a Living that You Forget to Make a Life

I worked at a company where every single person needed to be beat upside the head with this until they either got it or unconscious. I feel bad with some people's kids that have to put up with absentee parents. For most of us, work isn't the most important thing we do with our lives...it's one of the least. Family, friends, health, sleep, and several other things should always come first. I have 80 years on this planet if I'm lucky, I'm not spending it working 10 hour days and weekends in a box.

Power Rankings and Life

2011-11-22T18:51:00.002-05:00

Those that follow sports are familiar with Power Rankings, little more than an arbitrary organization of teams from best to worst on the weekly whims of sportswriters. They’re fun, but essentially useless. And yet the line of thought that goes into making them is a critical life skill. Often times we’re forced to make a “Power Rankings” of activities or jobs, or things we can do with our time. We might not necessarily spell it out, but inevitably some things rank above others and they get addressed while the rest does not.

I think the most common reason for doing this is how to use one’s time. We’re always told that the American work model is structured to give us 8 hours each of work, sleep and leisure (a fallacy, but we’ll ignore that for now), but there’s some leeway even there. My whole feeling is that since work takes up about 11 hours a day (I wake up at 6:30 and get home at 5:30 and there’s no way getting ready for work, driving to and from work, or eating lunch at work can be considered leisure time) and I value my leisure time, I’ll let the sleep take a hit. Perhaps not the most healthy alternative, but it’s worked out well for me so far.

And my method is by no means the only way to do things. Some people would much rather have their eight hours of sleep. Others are perfectly content to be in the office from 5 AM to 9 PM (freaks). But those decisions are still made, and made more often than we realize. Go to the gym or work out at home, watch TV or play a game, goof around with your kids, or work on elaborate plots to hold your family for ransom to get money from the government. Power Rankings, as annoying as they are in the sports world, are an integral part of who we are and how we live.

CV Cast - Nordiques

2011-11-20T00:08:00.001-05:00

CV Cast - No One Caresolina

2011-11-18T21:50:00.002-05:00

Losers GDT - No One Caresolina

2011-11-18T21:49:00.000-05:00

I like shitty southern teams because their GDTs are short. Let's begin

Venue: That place where State plays basketball.

Channel: The one with all the Viagra commercials.

Announcers: Sideburns and Watershed.

Canes Lines:

Jealous Older Brother - Depressed Older Brother - Our Savior
Those of Finnish descent and a 19-year-old child
Small Horse - Should be our Captain - Compete Level
Fats - Our best FA signing - This player should get real ice time

Drunk - The Man I spent 30 All-Star votes on
Our best Dman - The dude from the Simpsons
That guy none of us like anymore - AHL Hardest Slap Shot winner

Our only chance of winning
BOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Sabres Lines:

Better than ours

Let's go Canes!!!
(Wow, post of the night. That's really all you need to see.)

CV Cast - Devils

2011-11-16T22:15:00.001-05:00

In New York we Spell Evil N-Y-F-R-F

2011-11-16T19:52:00.000-05:00

Those of you that read avidly (god bless you) already know of the New Yorker's Family Research Foundation and its bigotry thinly veiled beneath a veneer of supposed religious morality. Since it's important to be aware of such organizations and the ways they demonize certain groups, I decided to post a laundry list of the NYFRF's transgressions here, specifically in regards to Gay Rights.

Right off the bat is the fact that the NYFRF has partnered with the Family Research Council on several "studies" that are little more than a religious circle-jerk. Among the FRC's transgressions are using the discredited research of Peter Cameron and the American College of Pediatrics which falsely states (among other things) that homosexuals live shorter lifespans and that homosexuality poses a danger to children. Peter Sprigg, the FRC's Senior Fellow for Policy Studies has said that gay behavior should be outlawed and that gays should be deported. That's essentially all you need to know about the NYFRF, but I will go into greater detail.

The NYFRF has steadfastly opposed any legislation designed to protect Gal, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgendered individuals. This is based on the assertion that such laws promote homosexuality.

But that's not enough, despite an aggressive "pro-life" stance, the NYFRF does not support anything that would protect teens from bullying based on their gender or orientation. The NYFRF blatantly disregards gender identity issues calling them "code for crossdressing and transsexuality." Evidently no one has told the NYFRF that gender identity syndrome has been corroborated as a legitimate diagnosisby brain scans that revealed male brain chemistry in those of a female sex (and vice versa) prior to hormone treatment. To illustrate how much of a fringe group the NYFRF is, New Yorks Anti-Bullying bill passed by votes of 18-1 and 131-5 in the Codes Committee and NYS Assembly respectively.

The NYFRF will also try to tell you that anything in favor of LGBT rights promotes hate. In a hilariously titled article, the NYFRF complains about signs at a pride rally that said things like, “Another Straight New Yorker for LGBT Equality & Justice” and “All Families Deserve Equality.” The horror.

Equally horrible is the effort by some major businesses to "destroy families" by donating to pro-LGBT forces. How this destroys families is unclear.

What's funny is that the NYFRF continues to treat Gay Rights like a minority cause even though both a majority of New Yorkers and a majority of Americans support marriage equality.

CV Cast - Canadiens 2

2011-11-14T23:38:00.001-05:00

Losers GDT - Canadiens

2011-11-14T23:12:00.000-05:00

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(For once I don't mind the Hab fans so much.)
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Wow, look at Enroth stats: 5-0-0 - 1.75 GAA - 94.4%
Very impressive !

I have a feeling that it will be a close and low-scoring game. 2-1 or 3-2.
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Lost a bit of respect for Gaustad on the Lucic charge...I always thought he would be the perfect 4th line center for the Habs, even Moen (which I like a lot) would have been more agressive than him.
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The NHL is a ****ing disgrace. The entire post-lockout "new" NHL is basically disposed of every time Lucic steps on the ice. Why the league thinks letting Claude Julien coach a goon squad is more important than having a functioning rulebook is beyond me. Miller's arguably the best goalie in hockey, and he was elbowed in the head at full speed by a proven cheap shot artist and is now out indefinitely. Lucic got 2 minutes and the Bruins got an easy win. Seems fair.
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I feel bad for Miller, he gets run over and nothing gets called. Lucic really is a piece of ****. I like that he plays with intensity and I like that he's the powerforward type player everyone wants, but you have to draw the line somewhere, and than line is way before running over goalies. Goalies aren't big like players are, they don't need to be able to handle a physical player.

I think Boston has been going around doing whatever they want for too long. And you just know all the Bruins fans are laughing at the "overreaction" from NHL fans for Lucic running over Miller. I don't agree with payback because it's not good for the game but just once I'd like to see Boston at the short end of the stick with this crap. Why doesn't someone run over their goalie and get away with it.

I would never hope for a Bruins player to be injured, it's sadistic to hope for other players' injuries, but let me tell you, if it did happen, I wouldn't care as much as if it happened to a player from another team just because Boston seems to not care for the well-being of the colleagues so why should we care about their players?
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Oh by the way Tyler Myers is a healthy scratch tonight. Looks like Lindy Ruff likes to stifle young players development too.
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3-2 Habs in a shootout.
(so close...)
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Absolutely Enroth has been better than Miller this year, but still Miller's a perennial all star. He really is a marquee player. Anyway I don't think Lucic took out Miller to make the game an easier win, he did it to injure him, plain and simple. He clearly enjoys taking cheap shots, just look at the people he's sucker-punched.
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No Miller,

We have no excuse if we lose this game
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It's impossible to have a civil discussion with most of their fans. Some of them are pretty cool, I suppose it's the case for most fan bases, but I don't know. I just can't stand bRuin fans.

And yeah, there was quite a few trolls on these boards during the Pacioretty incident.
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Even though it's against my team, but if the sabres run our goalie I don't expect that player to get suspended...
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I wonder what would have happened had he connected. Miller probably would have been suspended.
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Pretty good period, the DD line looks solid, Buffalo is sleep walking be nice to get a couple early in the second and bury them.
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Chara didn't even know Pacioretty was on the ice.

Apparantly awareness of what is going on around you is not a pre-requisite to being an NHL player.
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I find Lucic a disgrace for what he did, go back to your board with your dirty team.
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Just a matter of time before the Sabres tie this game up if this continues..
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lol Gaustad is such a clown... if we were better on the PP the loss would be entirely in his hands
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If it goes to SO the sabres are gonna crush us.
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Who is the brunette seating behind Lindy Ruff ?

Andrew Brunette
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Watch Vanek score with a monster shot
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vanek, roy, pominville, stafford, etc. SO = we lose
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Vanek is a beast in the SO...
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Knowing What You Are in Sports

2011-11-14T22:16:00.000-05:00

Colin Cowherd made the point on his radio show today that a big part of sports (football specifically) is knowing who you are and what you’re good at. While it’s definitely true in the NFL and each good team has an identity, I think it’s important at the individual level as well.

The best example I can give is my own experiences as an inline hockey player. I took up the sport later than most (age 22) and because of that, had some catching up to do. My skating was always pretty good, and I’m a small, fast, agile guy, but my puck-work always lagged behind. When it eventually did start to catch up, I still wasn’t lighting up the scoresheet. I realized at the beginning of my third year that I wasn’t making the best use of my skills. I’d always been a pass-first player because that’s what I was good at first. But I came to realize that at 140 pounds of muscle I had a unique combination of strength and a lack of size. Because I was strong and yet so light, I could accelerate and turn faster than everyone in the league. But that’s not exactly conducive to a pass-first mentality.

In short I needed to make use of my newfound ability to keep the puck on my stick with more control. I could either outskate everyone until something opened up, or create space for myself to score. My goal totals went from 4 in my first year, to 6 in my second to 22 in my third. Once I realized who I was and what I was good at, everything opened up for me. My style of play took on a definitive shape and even though my opposition also realized what I was, they were hard pressed to stop me. (It felt like using a cheat code.)

The Worst Non-Injury of My Career

2011-11-14T22:09:00.000-05:00

I was playing ice hockey last night, forward covering the point. The puck came back and I got in position to block the shot, hoping to deflect it ahead and get a break. I did just that...the problem was what I blocked the shot with.

The defenseman's slapper hit me square in the cup, which unfortunately had gotten dislodged. It happened to press the edge up against my dick like a foam covered knife. Not one to pass up a breakaway I skated after the puck but was eventually foiled. It was then that the adrenaline started to wear off and my junk started to hurt. It literally felt like the tip had been chopped off. I coasted to the bench, crumpling over the boards and tore off my gloves. I expected to see blood when I opened my pants, but thankfully there was none. Five minutes later it stopped hurting and I went on for another shift still whole-dicked.

CV Cast - Bruins

2011-11-12T22:00:00.002-05:00

Penn State and Catholicism

2011-11-12T10:19:00.001-05:00

Again, I said I wouldn’t write anything on the Penn St. scandal and here I am, a liar. And again, this is in that vein, but focusing more on something else. I’ve seen a few people here and there whom I know to be Catholics expressing their outrage and disgust at what Sandusky did.

It makes me laugh.

Sorry, but that’s the response I have when something in front of me is devoid of all logic. And these are smart people…they don’t just hate Sandusky for molesting boys, they hate McQueary, and Paterno, and the PSU administration for enabling and allowing that horror. They have a good idea of what happened.

But these people are just as bad and they don’t even know it. They give money to an institution that not only has seen several of its authority figures molest children, but then pays those molesting priests to go somewhere and hide (in the cases where they don’t just move the priest to another church) instead of exposing them to the full force of the law…when they’re not outright challenging the allegations. AND they’ll encourage churches to hide money to avoid paying reparations to victims.

Look, Penn State may have handled this thing in the worst way possible, but at least they got to the point where the guilty parties are being held accountable. The Catholic church is nowhere near that point. Nowhere near it. Sandusky was arrested. The Catholic Church sent one of its worst priests to Ireland and it set to pay him a stipend totaling around $90,000. This is the institution that Catholics give money to! A portion of their money ends up in the hands of a known child molester! Practicing Catholics are paying a child molester!

And spare me the bullshit about giving money in support of all the good things the Catholic Church does. That is complete and utter crap and anyone with half a god damned brain knows it. That’s like all these Penn State idiots defending Joe Paterno because of all the good things he’s done in his tenure at coach. Awesome...but he’s still a child molester enabler. And Catholics are still passively supporting pedophiles. You make me just as sick as Sandusky, and McQueary, and Paterno, and all these moronic PSU supporters do.

Edit:

It occurred to me that a perfectly valid response is to point out the involvement that NAMBLA or the North American Man Boy Love Association has with several LGBT groups. Obviously many of those groups have publicly anti-endorsed (is that a word) NAMBLA much like many individual priests have spoken out against molestation. It's a little different animal than these priests doing nothing other than parroting the company line and not doing more to effect change in a thoroughly broken organization, but there are similarities. Does that excuse church goers who (I'm sure) do not endorse some of the things that the Catholic Church does when they give money to their parish (even if a portion of that does work it's way up the ladder)? I'm not sure.

The thing is there are parallels everywhere. Not just LGBT orgs linked to NAMBLA, but gas stations that link to terrorism, or at the very least anti-American organizations. Clothing and electronics manufacturers that make use of child labor. What's lost in the above (probably because I didn't mention it) is that stuff like this happens all the time.

Maybe we're all a little sick.

Losers GDT - Senators

2011-11-11T23:20:00.000-05:00

Enroth starting? ****.
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I can just feel a W coming tonight!
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Derek Roy sucks.

His name sucks. His diving sucks. His face sucks.
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its too easy for Buffalo...goalies really dont have much of a chance when there is nobody covering these guys in front
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These Buffalo fans get excited at every play..
(Yeah, it's called having a team that doesn't suck.)
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(Ten posts later...)
wow that building sounds dead
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is it me or does Harry Neil sound......not well?
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I'll say it again. Buffalo wins the cup this year.
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Why do our goaltending always has to suck?

Shots are 26-15 Ottawa, but it's 4-1 Buffalo...
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Tonights goaltending has reminded me of healthy Pascal Leclaire.
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Just an epic fail.

CV Cast - Senators 2

2011-11-11T22:59:00.001-05:00

Moral Fiber

2011-11-11T18:51:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I lied a little bit. I said earlier that I wasn’t going to write anything on the Penn state scandal because it’s painfully obvious what opinion any reasonable and decent human being should have. This isn’t quite in that vein, but it is partially related.

I want to talk about morality. People keep saying how disappointed they are because of Penn State’s high moral standards, and though I don’t know anything about the university, I think the claim is complete bullshit solely because it invokes the word ‘morality.’ Morality has, for a while, been a word most often used to excuse something that a lot of people generally find reprehensible. It’s what bigots use when they want to denigrate a group of people because their religion (or their perversion of their religion)tells them to. I don’t know that the word has any meaning any more, and the more I think about it, I don’t know that it ever did.

Morality, as we can see, is a completely arbitrary set of rules that decent people are supposed to live by. You shouldn’t kill anyone…but wars are okay, and so is self defense. You should spread love and peace interculturally…unless those other guys worship a different invisible man in the sky. You should be civil and treat others the way you’d like to be treated…but we can’t even manage to agree on how to go about doing that. So I don’t put much stock into Penn State’s, or even anyone’s moral values.

As Maude says in Harold and Maude, “Vice, virtue, it’s best not to be too moral, you cheat yourself out of too much life. Aim above morality.” I’m not sure that’s anything in particular other than a random collection of words meant to sound profound, but I think the lesson is that we need to free ourselves of the rules that don’t seem to have any purpose or backbone. I like the Wiccan ideology, “If it harms none, do as you will.” That sounds perfect.

Losers GDT - Thrashers

2011-11-09T19:26:00.000-05:00

Let's hope we are a little more discipline. I was almost off my seat when Oduya was making good PK plays and it was scary.
(Yep...nope.)
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Buffalo has great team defense... could be another shutout for the Jets.

Likely a low scoring game either way.
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I predict a very similar finish that we had against the Rangers, that is:

- The Jets will suck the life out of the game with their "garbage hockey" style of play which will frustrate the opposition until one of their snipers opens things up with a late goal in the second. Then the Sabres will add a few more in the third.
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Say what you will about Jeanneret, but I still think he's one of the best in the game.
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We're probably gonna get destroyed.
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I gotta tell you after watching 7 years of those marshmallows known as the Edmonton Oilers play, it's refreshing to see a team that's not afraid to be physical.

We might take some extra penalties but it will win you more and more games down the road and into the playoffs.
(Might?)
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Jets PK is poor. Gotta avoid taking penalties.
(That's a bold strategy Cotton...let's see how it pans out...)
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Eesh. That looked bound to happen at some point. Buffalo's PP dominating.
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Buffoon just stood there. He is a useless piece of fat-ass ****.
(Putting the fugli in Byfuglien since...)
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Buff again. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
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Can we cut buffs fat *** he is so useless
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Most undisciplined team in the league
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Who the **** falls over from a hook that little?
(These are the type of people that have never played hockey. Doesn't take much to knock someone over on ice.)
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Why does everyone blame the refs when clearly we take stupid penalties? We are an undisciplined team and take OBVIOUS penalties. This is a joke.
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I love these bi-polar Jets. Games are either zero-goal snoozers or shooutout shinny. Listening to the Sabres broadcast team and Jeannerett is an absolute beeeaaaassssstttttt.
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Well played Buffoon. Now use this as momentum to get your fat-ass in gear.
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PS the Sabres passing is sublime.
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This is an absolute embarrassment. These refs should be ashamed of themselves.
(Whine whine.)
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Derek Roy is pathetic.

Dives like a little schoolgirl, then does a ridiculous celebration when his lucky one timer goes off the side of Pavelec's head and in when it would have missed the net if it didn't hit Pavelec.
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I despise Roy with a passion and would have no problems if someone gave him the 'Matt Cooke' treatment.

He is everything that is wrong about the game.
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OT. At least 8 points on the road trip, that's a positive.

I predict Buffalo gets the game winner on a PP after a questionable call.
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Just thought of something disturbing.... Mannino is going to need a start soon
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Did not see the game but ANY game you allow 4 PP goals and a SH goal against you do not deserve to win.

Terrible special teams play.
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CV Cast - Thrashers

2011-11-09T18:55:00.001-05:00

CV Cast - Senators

2011-11-05T22:35:00.002-04:00

Loser's GDT - Senators

2011-11-05T22:35:00.000-04:00

Our Haikus have been
pretty unsuccesful for
our most recent games.
(what?)
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How can you not hate Toronto and Montreal more with all of their arrogant fans filling our building and acting like they own the place? Buffalo is just a fun team to play against.
(How indeed. As far as rivals go, Ottawa's fans are probably the most amicable.)
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still looks like we are a team with 3 or 4 top six forwards and 9 or so 3rd or 4th liners..
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Poor Columbus. They desperately need goaltending.

Apparently Cody Bass was yelling at the team. He's probably wondering wtf he walked into but at least he's playing in the NHL.
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1 - 2 Sens.
(lol)
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I can't stand this terrible powerplay.

Spezza is playing like absolute garbage.
(What a dumb cock, their powerplay was second in the league.)
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If I just read this thread I'd think we were down by four and Spezza has scored on our net twice.
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Vanek is almost a sure thing in the SO.
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wtf was that EK

Vanek got a lazy goal, you can't
(the hell?)
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I hate Roy.

I hate his face. I hate his antics. I hate his diving. I hate his name.

Why did it have to be him to win it?
(Ahahaha fuck you.)
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Loser's GDT - Flames

2011-11-04T22:24:00.000-04:00

Most Pathetic Game Day Thread I've ever seen. Three pages? What the fucking fuck?

We're doomed.

GO FLAMES GO!
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I have faith in the new lines, however, I think Buffalo takes this. 3-2
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I really really don't want to watch Regehr play against us
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Flames win 5-3, Regehr gets lit up all night and proves why we traded that weak slow bum!
(Good call moron.)
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I do not really understand why everyone is worried about Bruno, he is a very good backup.
He isn't Kipper.
(He's younger and better.)
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I think Regehr got traded for a reason. In order to get rid of Stajan and Hagman's contracts, we had to ship Regehr. It's all strategy as Regehr will "tunnel of death" both Hagman and Stajan. Lifetime placement on Injury List

But seriously, i miss Regehr.

CV Cast - Flames

2011-11-04T22:15:00.001-04:00

CV Cast - Flyers

2011-11-02T22:15:00.002-04:00

Not feeling things that suck

2011-11-02T19:08:00.000-04:00

Shitty feelings are exactly that, so for the most part I opt to not feel them. Which sounds like I'm burying the negative beneath a thin, and ultimately unstable veneer, but those who know me know that isn't the case. I think you can address and deal with something that has a negative impact without getting swept up in the emotional tide.

It helps that I have a strong desire to not bullshit myself, and an overwhelmingly realistic approach to life. Because of this, I'm not often surprised by things that happen. Most of the time I'm pretty aware of all possibilities and try not to hold myself to any one in particular. When something bad does happen, I feel more of an "oh, well I knew it was possible," more than a "that sucks."

It also helps me fix problems that crop up, getting to the root of what is making mad, sad, etc. If I'm not distracted by the feelings, I'm focused on what will get results.

Introversion

2011-11-02T18:58:00.001-04:00

Last weekend when I was at my girlfriend's house, her housemate's friend insisted on meeting me. Upon shaking hands, he said something to the effect of "yay now we can all be friends and be social (he is also gay)." Um...no.

I can't help but think this was some misguided attempt to "rescue" the quiet people who never leave their room. What utter bullshit. It's as though being perfectly content to spend your time with limited company is somehow wrong. I'm sure this guy is and was a fairly nice and well meaning person, but if he was attempting to "rescue" us, then he was behaving like a complete and utter asshole. "Being quiet isn't a part of your personality, it's a defect! Come fix it!" Fuck that guy.

2011-10-30T21:59:00.000-04:00

Tim Tebow
I will be perfectly honest up front, I don’t like Tim Tebow. I’m not a Christian, and while Christians themselves do not bother me, Tebow-mania along with his use of that faith to partner with an unwholesome organization bother me significantly.
But as I continue to regard the athlete for things outside the world of sports, I’ve come to recognize that Tebow is a victim, like the wide-blue-eyed member of the Hitler Youth movement or the innocent and wholly (and blissfully) ignorant child whose parents retain an unfortunate membership to the KKK. (The difference of course is that while those organizations have been used to perpetuate evil, there is an aspect of good to Christianity.) With Tebow’s involvement with Focus on the Family, it’s clear that a benevolent Christian path is not one Tebow walks.

But can we to blame him? Tim Tebow is a victim of the parallel universe his home-schooling and his ultra-conservative parents have forced him to live in. His decision to partner with FotF, an organization that retains ties to the SPLC-designated hate group the Family Research Council (and was in fact founded by the same person) and whose own president has said that "homosexuality will destroy the earth" was almost certainly a product of the forces of that universe.

So even though I may dislike Tebow, I’ve tried to come to see him as he is, a victim of a perversion of faith. Nothing more, nothing less.

CV Cast - Panthers 2

2011-10-30T00:08:00.001-04:00

CV Cast - Jackets

2011-10-28T19:19:00.001-04:00

Loser's GDT - BJs

2011-10-28T19:17:00.000-04:00

Well at least we've lulled the league into the backup class now. Lets hope they have a short memory and dont remember the Buffalo beat down last year that triggered the late season fall.
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I really like the sabres uniforms.
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That Kaleta is a real piece of ****. Now looks like Bass may have hurt his hand.
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Kaleta, guy has no respect.
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I'll have to watch it again, but the only thing I noticed in real time was Mason's New York sized fivehole (first goal)
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Can we please send this punching bag back to Springfield?............. (Bass after the McCormick fight)
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Enroth for Vezina, I'm calling it now...They're making me think it's possible.
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I wish GameCenter had a 'Fast Forward Until Mayorov/Pahlsson/Dorsett Aren't On The Ice Anymore' button
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Stop aiming AT THE GOALIE jeez
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Vermette stinks like a hobo's baindaid for 10 straight games and there is no demotion. Johan gets a single goal scored on him, which didn't appear to be his fault much at all, and he is benched.

Fire Arniel. This is just epic stupidity.
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"shot from a sharp angle"
We're trying that way too much. I get if you run out of options but we're doing it nearly every shift, and trying to bounce it of the back of the goalie. Go to prime scoring areas
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Is the crowd just poorly mic'd or what? It's pretty damn quiet in there.
(It was dead as a doornail until right before Kaleta scored.)
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Lastly, we all said we wanted to see a more high scoring style of hockey under Arniel. Well, he's giving it to us in spades. Other teams have never scored so much against a Jackets team.
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I just got home from this game, after being harrased by a Canadian border guard about how much I drank tonight...Only 2, I swear
(Fuck leafs fans for coming to our games to root for the other team. God I wish we'd conquer Canada.)
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CV Cast - Lightning Part 2

2011-10-25T22:21:00.001-04:00

First Day, First Impressions - GBU

2011-10-24T18:33:00.000-04:00

So today was my first day at a temp. job that has the potential to turn into a full time position come December. Without further adieu, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The Good:

Everyone is really friendly, much more so than previous places of employment.
Most of the employees have been there a long time, again much more so than previous places of employment.
They seem committed to being patient and allowing me to watch and learn for a long time. Some people are Peyton Manning and throw 20 TDs in their first season. Some people are Drew Brees and ride the pine a bit.
No billing to specific projects. Thank fucking god.
Supervisor suggested I leave early. That would NEVER have happened at my previous places of employment. Not that I expect this to be the norm, but it's nice to be working under someone who is realistic as opposed to someone who's under the mindset "you need to be working late every day even though we haven't given you hardly any actual work to do."
No cube entrance facing into a major thoroughfare. I can't tell you how much this annoyed me before.
Plenty of personal calls, breaks, etc. taken by those around me. Nice to work for a company that realizes that people aren't machines that you can just plug in for eight hours a day.
As the setting sun lit up the red trees, the drive back was pretty.
The commute was not nearly as bad as I expected. Almost no traffic.
The company gives an hour for lunch.

The Bad:

I don't really like taking an hour lunch. I'd rather take a half hour and leave earlier, especially since I bring food and don't have to spend ten minutes procuring food.
The commute is 40 minutes. While it wasn't as bad as I expected, that's still a shitty drive.
I'm not sure I'll ever get used to working an 8-5 job. Granted it's too early to be making too many judgments, but my big fear with engineering jobs is that I won't grow to love them, that they'll just be good enough and pay well enough for me to like them.

The Ugly:

I don't have a computer yet. :(
Good 3g service would mitigate the above for now, but it's spotty at best.

Overall I'm more excited for a job than I've ever been before. I think this is a niche that I could really thrive in, and there are a few nearby apartment complexes that I wouldn't mind living in. I think if I had a situation where work was five minutes away, extending sleep time and maximizing leisure time and (minimizing the impact of time away from work), I could really start to enjoy myself.

CV Cast - Lightning

2011-10-22T21:48:00.002-04:00

It Gets Better - Rebecca Drysdale with Lyrics

2011-10-21T17:34:00.000-04:00

It Gets Better by Rebecca Drysdale

Amanda is in gym class where the kids go to get fit,
But her eye's not on the ball at all, it's on Ms. Foster's tits.
Shes got a dirty little secret that everybody knows,
She came out but she wishes she had left the closet closed.

And here is little Davey hiding in the piano room
Playing Wicked, Rent, Chicago, Cats, and Brigadoon.
He's hiding from the locker room and jocks who roam the halls
Where he's safe from wedgies, shiners, and destruction of his balls.

But when they call you weirdos, fags, and rejects, flamers, gays, and hags
Baby-dykes, and homo-dykes, lesbos, homos, and queerbags
It might seem like its hopeless and will never be okay,
But listen to the ones who care, believe them when they say...

It gets better!

Someday you'll look back and you wont give a fuck
When you're swimmin' through your pussy vault like Scrooge 'fuckin'' McDuck
And when you're snatchin' your first Grammy, super-glam and lookin' slick,
It wont be much time til they get in line for a chance to suck your dick.

It gets better!

It wasn't long til they told Johnny that he wasn't normal
When he wore a strapless gown and high heels to his junior formal,
But the cool guys, they felt passionately that his chosen fashion
Was a rationalization for a rash of Johnny-bashin.'

Everyone made fun of Shannon cause she kissed a girl,
So she hid her head and closed her mouth and shut out her whole world.
She is brilliant, smart and funny, kind and talented, but hey
It doesn't matter what she is, all she is to them is gay.

But when they call you carpet munchers, fudge-packers, and queens
Lesbians-in-training, Marys, lily nancy teens
It might seem like you're different, weird, unusual, or strange,
But hang in there cause things will always and have always changed.

It gets better!

Johns a stylist and he's gotten pretty far,
Now he doesn't get his ass kicked, but his ass kissed by the stars.
And when Shannon got to college, she met people just like her
And she realized who the d-bags and the fuckheads really were.

It gets better!

Jane Lynch, Boy George, Versace,
Adam Lambert, Liberace,
Elton, Tim, John, Michael Stipe,
Ellen, Rosie, Wanda Sykes.

Jodie Foster, Linda Perry,
Gandalf the wizard, actually a fairy.
Simon, Amstell, K.D. Lang,
Even Brando liked some wang.

Rachel Maddow, huge muff-diver,
Richard Hatch who won Survivor,
Nathan Lane, Truman Capote,
even Obi Wan Kenobi.

Billy Joe from Green Day's bi,
Ricky Martin, big surprise,
Doogie Howser, what a showman,
Dave Hyde Pierce and all the Romans.

Tommy Tune and Alvin Ailey,
Meredith Baxter, Leica Haley.
Lohan, Paquin, both are bi,
Boy George and George Takei.

Cher has a transgendered child,
George Michael and Oscar Wilde.
Everyone involved in glee
One tenth of everyone you know and me.

All of them are just like you,
It got better for them and it will for you too.

It gets better!

If you're gay or bi or something in between,
There's no one who is meaner than a bunch of asshole teens.
But those assholes are the first people you will soon forget
When you're livin' life and learning how much better it can get.

It gets better!

Oh yeah, it gets better!

It gets better!

Yeah yeah yeah...

It gets better!

(I might have missed a name or word or two, let me know.)

Loser's GDT - Panthers

2011-10-20T22:20:00.000-04:00

The Sabres are really good. One of the better teams in the East, imo. A win would be huge but I'm not expecting it.
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Get real. The Sabres are one of the favorites in the East. Nothing defeatist about assessing a situation realistically instead of blind homeristic optimism.
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Nothing more worthless than posting a .gif. Any reason you disagree? Why do you think winning this game would be huge? Let me tell you since you don't seem to get it. The Sabres are really good and a better team than us. Ask anyone who has watched them this year, take a look at their record, and how much of their core is intact and then compare them to us and you should be able to figure it out. We're better than some teams but not all teams. Not sure why being honest is out of bounds.
(All three by the same poster)
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In order to win we simply need to work harder than buffalo. Plain and Simple!

That's what Montreal thought.
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I'm not here to talk any trash, but I just got to turn the game on now.. is that normal for the stands to be that empty at panthers games?

No, was a bomb scare, only the hardcore fans stayed. (lol)
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Holy crap. Did Bradley's face explode?
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"Ryan Miller is gonna stop the first shot 95-199% of the time."

-Billy Lindsay
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Originally Posted by Erick

Ellerby sucks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Panteras

Ellerby sucks

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laus723

Ellerby sucks

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View Poll Results: Can the Cats bounce back from the last lackluster game?

This is a new team, it won't bother them.	5	19.23%
Another tough opponent? I don't know...	5	19.23%
They've actually slept since then, so probably.	6	23.08%
Let's put it this way, Rick Jeanneret is gonna be screaming a lot.	10	38.46%

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man against boys out there, man against boys
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Jeebus. You give Vanek an open from the middle of the slot at 15 feet, and he's gonna score 9 out of 10. Seriously, Theo has been the only good spot in this game, imo. None of those 3 goals were because of any mistakes on his part.

Not a great game. At least we have a couple of upcoming against some iffy teams. Hopefully we can get our collective ***** together.

CV Cast - Panthers

2011-10-20T22:11:00.000-04:00

Star Trek Deep Space Nine

2011-10-20T17:46:00.000-04:00

I was born in 1986, the year before The Next Generation premiered as the second installment of Star Trek on television. So I have some very early memories of episodes in the later seasons as it continued it's run. Then Voyager came on when I was in junior high and I was hooked from the beginning. My Trek obsession really began with Captain Kathryn Janeway and her crew's struggle to get home.

Some time later I discovered episodes from The Original Series on VHS at our local library. I burned through as many as I could in short order before getting the entire series on DVD a few years later.

And then there was Deep Space Nine, the redheaded, forgotten stepchild of the Star Trek Universe. I never got into DS9 because my parents never watched it. I'd always loved the Trek novels, and inevitably that involved some advances by DS9 characters as I started to run out of Voyager and TNG material. With so many of them intriguing me (mainly Ezri Dax and Julian Bashir), I couldn't help but pick up a few seasons of DS9. That was a good call.

Deep Space Nine is without a doubt the best Star Trek series, and it isn't even close. Voyager wins the prize for best episodes, but DS9 is the best series as a whole. And the reason for that is twofold. One, it has the best cast. Two, it does the most to create and expand the Star Trek Universe.

Granted TOS had an amazing cast...but there's only so much Kirk boinks an alien, Spock makes a pithy joke, and McCoy gets angry at Spock I can handle. The Next Generation had probably three or four of the worst characters in Star Trek: Wesley Crusher, Beverly Crusher, Deanna Troi, and Katherine Pulaski. Voyager had a few characters who were boring (Chakotay, Kes), and a few characters that had extremely obnoxious story arcs (Neelix, The Doctor).

In Deep Space Nine, there wasn't a single character I didn't love. Avery Brooks had such a jovial and laid back approach to captain Sisko, he was a joy to watch. I will never tire of seeing Nana Visitor kick someone's ass. Terry Farrell had an amazing, mercurial, and ultimately wise approach to Jadzia Dax, and Nicole de Boer deserves a medal for taking that blueprint and creating something else entirely. Siddeg Al Faddil was amusing in his smarminess, and Colm Meaney was a perfect companion for him. The only places the series suffered were where Michael Dorn couldn't do anything to liven up Worf, and the few too many trips to Ferenginar. (And not murdering Keiko O'Brien immediately.)

What draw people to something in fanatic levels is a universe they feel they can immerse themselves in. It's why The Lord of the Rings, and Harry Potter are so popular. DS9 did more for the trek universe than any of the other series combined. We learned about the Romulans, the Klingons, the Cardassians, the Bajorans, the Tzenkethi, the Breen, the Dominion, the Ferengei, the Nausicans, and even got the best look into the Federation itself of all the series.

TOS and TNG are important because they (in different ways) mark the beginning of the Star Trek Universe. Deep Space Nine, in returning to the roots of Star Trek, helps it's legacy to endure. Where The Original Series helped shatter the race barrier and diversify television, Deep Space Nine started to deconstruct some of the taboos we have about gender and sex. Where TOS featured the first inter-racial kiss on television, DS9 featured the first same-sex kiss on television. In DS9 we broke from the safe world of TNG and entered an area where no topic was too dark. Sex, Death, Genocide, Religion, nothing was sacred.

Deep Space Nine looms as the greatest Trek Series because it grew to be larger than life in a way that TOS was too far ahead of it's time to accomplish.

CV Cast - Canadiens

2011-10-18T23:08:00.000-04:00

<br><br>CV

Loser's GDT - Canadiens

2011-10-18T23:07:00.000-04:00

As always, real posts by real dumbasses.

gonna be a bounce back game from the habs

3 1
(good call, asshole)
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Their top 3 defenseman are all arguably better than any of ours. We're in for a tough one tonight!
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Man, that Buffalo line-up is crazy deep.

5-1 Sabres
(Lost of love from the Quebec internets)
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In Buffalo they don't run their coaches out of town every 3 years. Stability goes a long way. Though they always seem to come up a bit short. I called Buffalo for the Cup this year. We'll see.
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Habs will lose tonight, but they'll play well.

I have to say though, the Sabres are praised everywhere, Habs players know this, and that's usually when they rise to do their best. When they know they have to play strong all game long to win.
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Unreal, i would love to have that 4th line in Montreal. Imagine one of the top face-off guys on the fourth line.
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40 shots for Sabres tonight with Montreal winning is my prediction.
(So close...)
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13 minutes late !!!about freaking time
(We know...)
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Weak weak call on Plekanec...that was brutal. Refs must be trying to get Buffalo going...
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Sabres goal is a force field tonight.
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Good period. Fire everyone.
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Why Nickelback.
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+1 for Ryan Miller being an awesome goalie.
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How the **** can you not penalized that trip on Desharnais?
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Wow what a slew foot by Gaustad.
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If we lose this... I'll start being pretty concerned about our chances to make the playoffs this year. We can't blame the injuries... sure we're missing Cammy and Markov but if we can't win without them it says a lot about our team...
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Buffalo's armpit sweat patches are really corny. They should get rid of those.
(Yes)
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Are you freaking kidding me...
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I saw that coming after that icing...
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That Vanek goal is ******* painful.
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Bonehead icing by Gorges...no way Vanek should score from there...Price has been weak on both goals...was about a foot off the post. Miller is winning them the F%%#ing game.
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Hey by the way

We won the cup in 93 !
(With Colorado's HOF goaltender...)
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Gotta admit though...that was a beautifully executed faceoff play. I mean it couldn't have worked any better.
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Perfect shot from Vanek, but thats what he does. He should have never been that open.
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at lease Halak is more consistent
(LMAO)
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Some of you guys are nuts. At his best, Vanek is a legit elite sniper. He had all the time in the world and took a perfect shot.
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ITS CALLED HAVING A SET DEFENSIVE PLAY IN YOUR ZONE !!! ARE YOU REALLY THAT TECHNICALLY HOCKEY ILLITERATE ?
ITS CALLED A PLAYER SKATING TO THE BENCH TO RELAY A PLAY TO THE REST OF THE PLAYERS AND NOT WASTE A TIME OUT. HAVE YOU EVER PLAYED HOCKEY?
(Arguing the merits of calling a timeout on the icing that led to the Vanek goal...five pages later)
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If we were to tank better not suck enough to land Yakupov but enough for us to get Grigorenko.
(Game five...)
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Send Darche to run Miller.
(Turnbuckle Pacioretty...)
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Miller you are way too good.
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I wish we had Gaustad
(And for 2.3M...)
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If we ever won the cup, we could go 0-82 the next year and i wouldnt care.
(And if the Yankees ever win a World Series...)
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can somebody run Miller ?
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Sabres doesn't deserve to be in the game. They are Bantam B players.
(lol)
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We were due to get a bad season...

Due? Since 1993?
(Just when I was asking god for a post showing what entitled twats Habs fans are...)

Labels

2011-10-18T00:41:00.000-04:00

I went to a presentation on Transgenderism at RIT last weekend because it's something I'm very curious about and lack information on. The speaker was a female-to-male transgendered individual that (from what I've heard) had been taking hormones (testosterone) for about six months. I say this, not really because it's relevant to the entry, but to show that the information was coming from an eminently qualified individual.

And yet when it came time to discuss and define transgenderism, and more broadly, gender and sex as a whole, he stumbled. And thought. And hesitated. And really what we discover is that even someone who has (literally) a lifetime of experience with these issues can't find any sort of appropriateness within the various labels. It seems that labels don't really work so well. We like to put things in categories, but people are too unique for that to be done with any sort of effectiveness.

My girlfriend has said on numerous occasions, "I don't understand why I have to be straight or a bisexual, or genderqueer, or whatever. Why can't I just be a person?"

Why indeed.

Friends' Weddings; a Conundrum

2011-10-17T23:38:00.000-04:00

I'll be up front right now, I probably don't have enough friends to really have to worry about going to many weddings. I am okay with this. But for those that do deign to invite me to theirs, it presents a conundrum.

Obviously I'm happy for those of my friends that choose to pursue a partnership, that cannot be overstated. The issue lies with the organizations that those people would choose to officiate their marriage. I'm not sure I can endorse an organization that has such a deep rooted and fundamental hatred for myself, my girlfriend, and people like us. On one hand that's a selfish thought, but on the other, I'd feel like I was letting down the millions of LGBT individuals that are fighting so hard for equality.

Losers GDT - Penguins

2011-10-16T02:58:00.000-04:00

(It should be noted that the Pens had one less page than the Kings. Hockey market my ass.)
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Watched the Sabres last night. Their only glaring weakness was a tendency to allow odd-man rushes while on the PP, evidence by the two shorties scored by Carolina. Hopefully the Pens PKers can take advantage of that if it remains the case.
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I don't like their chances without geno, buffalo is stacked. They have 3 great lines to roll out.

4-2 Sabres

I hope I am wrong
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Sabres are impressing me.
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New/worst drinking game ever: drink every time the Penguins makes three clean passes in a row.
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Just as stupid as we know Flyers fans are, we shouldn't mock them for something a bit of our fanbase will presumably do itself. (HOLY SHIT REASON! Re: Booing Richards/Jagr)
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These guys need to start plowing over Gerbe. (Gerbe is a dick.)
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Wow. What a save.
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What Vanek just did there is what Staal needs to learn how to do.
Offense? (LMAO)
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Funny story: When the 2010 Olympic gold medal game when to OT, I had predicted on the main board that (after missing that breakaway late in the 3rd) Sid would end it.

That, has been just one of my many correct hockey predictions. I either have a potential gift...or I'm just one lucky ****er. (Warning: Dumbass alert(
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****in snipe city....

That was awesome. (Staffy respect.)
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There's plastic wrap over the Sabres net
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Why would you put Staal out there against Guastard??? You knew he was losing that faceoff.
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Nothing at all wrong with tonight's game from the Pens.

With the players we are missing we are not supposed to do more than keep it close against a good team and give Fleury a chance to steal it.

Buffalo have a playoff team, perhaps a division winner.
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Meh we deserved a point, but that wasnt in the cards this time.Martin should have buried his chances.As long as the Wings lose this is a fine night.Philly loses to Kings (No you didn't, fuck you.)
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I came to this thread just to see what you guys had to say about the game, and I'm leaving offended. Sabres spelled Sabres in the OP and our logo is the goat, which we havent used in what, 6-7 years? C'mon guys!

(I'm not offended Buffalo fan...I just feel dirty.)

Loser's GDT - Kings

2011-10-16T02:16:00.000-04:00

Both teams would love to get out of Berlin with 4 points under their belt. Unfortunately for Buffalo it won't be them. (Good call, jackass.)
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Please don't ever let that lady sing our anthem again. Butcher job.
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Gerbe makes Marty St. Louis look like Shaq.
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Ennis has some great speed.
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That was almost an goalie interference on Vanek on that goal
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This game shows the huge disparity in coaching. Buffalo gets a turnover and they all go to the front of the net. The Kings get a turnover and they have no one in front.
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Wow, the Sabres have a lot of skill and speed. Or the Kings Defense is just not good today.
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Buffalo has to be the sissiest diver-est girlish team in the NHL. I can't wait until they are swatted out of the first round once again like the bugs they are (Likewise pal)
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Gerbe is little compact, tough kid. He's been standing guys up all game.
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Why are we even dressing a goon in this game?

The Sabres are a skilled team with lots of speed and no goon.
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Westbarf right back out there
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The Sabres remind me of The Blues. Lots of Speed and Skill. The Kings are still going to get Eat up by teams like that.

Loser's GDT - Ducks

2011-10-16T01:55:00.000-04:00

I forgot, but we are back! As always real internetz posts from real fans. (My thoughts are in these curvy things.)

Yikes, that Sabres 4th line is an injury waiting to happen. (Respect)
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Damn, that Sabres line up actually looks pretty scary for me. Problems coming in in 2,5 hours. (Respect x2)
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I like the way Buffalo plays. Solid in every zone. (Repect x3)
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We should change our names to "Anaheim Penalties" or "Penalty Kill of Anaheim" =P (Yep.)
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Sabres just are better
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Jesus, Ryan is such a pansy. Running away from Gerbe?
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Seriously though, I hope Regehr punches Getzlaf in the face or something so Getzlaf turns in to pissed off Getzlaf mode.
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Buffalo looks fast and aggressive.
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Regher-Myers is going to be one of the best shutdown pairings in the league this season.
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CVCAST - Sabres-Penguins

2011-10-15T21:53:00.001-04:00

Postgame Podcast - Ducks, Kings, Canes

2011-10-15T15:13:00.000-04:00

Jumping on the Milwaukee Bandwagon?

2011-10-12T16:40:00.000-04:00

This is the first time in ten years I've watched more than a smattering of postseason baseball, and a large part of that is because of the Milwaukee Brewers. (Most of it is because the playoffs got a thousand times more enjoyable once there were no Yankees, Red Sox, or Phillies to be found (ratings be damned), but I digress.)

There's something compelling about a team that had one playoff series win (1982) in its 41 year history coming into this season and no world series titles (though the Milwaukee Braves did win one in 1957). They were the reason I was passably interested in the playoffs a few years ago and now they're the reason I've jumped in head first now.

But do I like them enough to call them my team?

I do have an indirect connection to the Brewers through my friend Lee. A native of Iowa, Lee roots for the Brewers when he's not rooting for the Mets, and when he's giving a shit about baseball at all (which is practically never). But that's a reach at best. Otherwise it simplifies to "they're the best combination of small market and relevant right now." For years if you asked me my favorite team I hopped between the Mets (being a New Yorker), and the Twins (loving Brad Radke). But Radke isn't in baseball anymore and I don't get a warm feeling when I think about the Mets. In fact, I don't get a warm feeling when I think about anyone or anything in New York City (except the DGWU crew). After years of hating the Jets and Giants and the Yankees when they're not playing the Red Sox or Phillies, and watching upstate get the shaft by the city, it makes me a little sick to try and identify with those people.

The other part of it is that I have no desire to watch 162 baseball games in a year. A bit of a difference from other sports where I haven't missed a game in almost three years (Buffalo Sabres), or since the Clinton Administration (Buffalo Bills). I'm not only not going to be able to watch a lot of Brewers games in a year, I'm not going to want to.

But having a team to call my own is different and might make baseball a bit more enjoyable, right? Especially since the Brewers are one of maybe ten teams with a good chance of making the playoffs. Plus it's a small market with fun crowds, a ridiculous home field advantage that's starved for a championship. That's everything I like to root for.

Some Thoughts on Mental Issues

2011-10-12T02:02:00.000-04:00

Gender Identity Disorder has started to ring truer with me in recent weeks like the increasing low vibrations of a tell-tale bell. It's something that I have grown fascinated with for a multitude of reasons, how close it hits to home, and how callously it is disregarded among them.

It's the latter that has struck me harder as of late. To read the rhetoric being pushed about the internet, some of it by those who have otherwise shown themselves to be intelligent and tolerant people, is, in a word, disappointing. Read any publicized news story on an issue regarding Gender Identity Disorder and the hate comments spew fire from the mouth of ignorant dragon after ignorant dragon. It is, to far too many people, something ridiculous that can simply denied through force of will or buried under a veneer of other thoughts. As though the problem with schizophrenics and those with bipolar disorder is that they need to merely "stop acting crazy" and that those with Parkinson's or Cerebral Palsy or Epilepsy need to "stop acting disabled."

To me, one of the key facets of maturity or enlightenment is a heightened sense of self-awareness. I think that's what gets me in regards to the public outcry against Gender Identity Disorder. To treat such issues as though they are uncommon, and such people as though they are blights is, simply put, hideously un-self-aware.

We like to put everything into neat little boxes, but nature doesn't quite work that way. Every single person has an aspect of their personality that is at odds (sometimes severe odds) with their biological gender. In denigrating those who do not conform to such boxes members of society are, like Tom Riddle, shredding a part of themselves in the process.

I'm not sure what's sadder, making fun of someone because you see (subconsciously) a part of yourself in them...or making fun of them because they were born with the brain chemistry of one gender and the physiology of another. Of course, chastising people for something they cannot change is nothing new.

We are truly a cruel people.

Trans...Queer...Questioning?

2011-10-11T02:08:00.000-04:00

Lately transgender and gender identity issues have been getting more and more play in the news, mostly because society has progressed to the point where we can finally admit that these things exist and are legitimate struggles for some people. I figured that now is as good a time as ever to discuss some of the struggles I've had with my own gender.

I'm not transgendered, or questioning my gender, and my struggles with what it means to be male can barely be described as such. More the onus is on the rigid definitions of what is "manly" imposed by society than it is on any lack of self-awareness on my part.

I never grew up fawning over pink or purple, or trying to put on dresses, but I did have a tendency to stray towards things that were more feminine in nature. At a young age, my parents sometimes pushed me towards more sporty things in an effort to fit in. Going through elementary school, I was obsessed with cats, and as you would imagine my room was adorned with many posters and pictures. (Not quite a Dolores Umbridge level of decor.) There was one moment in Wal-Mart when my mother said I could get a poster. The decision came down to a rather girly and goofy image of a kitten, and a poster featuring all 28 football teams. I leaned towards the former, but my mom ensured that I left Wal-Mart with the latter.

The outsider might look at me, an avid Bills and Sabres fan, and a more than occasional participant in recreational baseball, football, soccer, hockey, basketball, and bowling leagues (over the course of both my childhood and adulthood) and see someone who is unquestionably male in activities and desires. Not at all the case. In many other aspects of my life, there has been a distinct trend towards the feminine. I will spare the space of completing a laundry list (from Avril Lavigne to t.A.T.u.) of those things and move onwards.

The point is, I never really considered myself a label, and as my individuality and confidence flourished I became more and more okay with those tastes. The problem, as I said before, is with society. We seem to have a certain fondness for categories and fitting everyone into one. At times it's nice to be able to simply yourself into a buzzword to rally around (when you need to), but no one is that uncomplicated. I don't consider myself any of the words in the title of this entry, or many other labels really. Sometimes it's a sense of pride to call out, "I...am..._____!" And I am those things, but they don't singularly define me. On top of everything, I am a person...I am me.

One of the Dumbest Fucking Things I've Ever Read

2011-10-11T01:43:00.000-04:00

If you missed it, and you probably did because it's not all that important, California Governor Jerry Brown signed a bill into law that lowers the age of consent to receive the HPV vaccine to twelve. Of course conservative groups are interpreting such an occurrence as putting a giant tattoo on these young girls' foreheads that says "FUCK ALL THE HOLES!"

Which is, you know, plenty stupid in itself, but that's not what gets me. Apparently Governor Brown also once signed a bill that raises the age of consent to use a tanning bed to 18. The conservative CitizenLink calls this ironic and features a quote from the California Family Council's Ron Prentice who says "It’s pretty difficult to have any thoughts other than to shake your head and wonder how he intends to line the two up.”

Now I know the definition of irony has been pretty much forgotten, but generally speaking it describes a situation that plays out in the opposite manner to what was expected. Having Governor Brown sign a bill into law that protects the health of girls by not letting them cancerify their skin at a young age...and then sign a bill into law that protects the health of girls by allowing them to receive a vaccine that prevents contracting a virus that may lead to cancer...(drumroll)...is not even remotely ironic.

What would be ironic is if the right hit the nail on the head with this issue. You know, because usually their efforts to do so result in something akin to a drunk throwing a pickle at the nail.

Well...shit.

Lending Credence to my Suburban Shitbag Theory

2011-10-11T01:31:00.000-04:00

A while ago I made the observation that those in rural areas seem to generally be okay people, and that those in urban areas seem to generally be okay people...but those that live in suburbia tend to be complete and total assholes. Enter: this article.

The premise is that while cities have bars and coffee shops and restaurants in which people can hang out and develop a sense of community, and rural areas have focused town centers where people can do the same, suburbia straddles a middle ground that ultimately deprives people of the opportunity to interact with their fellow human beings. Suburban areas, house farms as I call them, tend to discourage any sense of community. Places where people can interact together are often far away and houses tend to be fenced in and closed off (mostly to attain the privacy that being ten feet away from each other lacks). What you end up with is people who retain relatively private lives, going from their house to their garage to their car to work and back again with barely a nod's worth of interaction with the neighbors. Without that interaction, people lose their sense of empathy...and if you don't have that, the ability to understand and identify with the emotions of your fellow human beings...you're an asshole. Guess what's coming out of suburbia...

I would have posted a picture of Sarah Palin or Christine O'Donnell, but their faces are so infuriating, I lose brain cells every time I see them.

I don't have a whole lot more to say that the article doesn't cover with more eloquence. But a lack of empathy coming out of suburbia certainly explains the Tea Party's general hatred of anyone that isn't old, white, and straight.

Don't Make Fun of Buffalo

2011-10-05T19:36:00.000-04:00

Maybe you've seen it, maybe you haven't. The gist of the story is that an Albany Times Union columnist (Jennifer Gish) wrote a post essentially telling Bills fans to stop being so damn happy after they beat the Raiders and moved to 2-0. I just learned about the piece now, so I'm a little behind.

As with a lot of theses stories, it continues past the original article into something greater. A little Internet 101: what did the anonymous bastards do? Why yes they picked on the fact that Gish is a woman and called her a slew of misogynist names. Very good! After the excessive dropping of c-words and k-words (rhymes with itchin'), Gish penned another column basically complaining about her treatment (invalid!) and the treatment of women who work in sports (valid!). Let me say this very clearly, people didn't pick on Gish because she's a woman. They picked on her because she wrote something completely asinine. The fact that she's a woman was simply the most convenient thing to harp on for a lot of people that wanted to piss Gish off as much as they'd been pissed off by her. It's like when Michael Richards flipped out on a bunch of black guys, "these people are REALLY pissing me off, what can I say to return the favor? Oh, I know..." Does that make it right? No. But I also don't think it makes Michael Richards a racist.

My comment to Gish was essentially this: Buffalo is the nerdy kid in high school that all the jocks (columnists) pick on when they get bored. She came in and started griping about how people were too happy about how the Bills have started their most promising season in a decade. Why was she surprised when the little nerdy kid decided he was sick of the jock's shit and started throwing punches? "Hey you play in Canada, you might move, you haven't beaten the Patriots in forever, you won't this week!" It's not surprising Bills fans assaulted her over the internet. (Again that doesn't make it right.) And you might be asking yourself, "what's the difference between Gish's column, and say making fun of the Rangers, the Red Wings, or Bandwagon fans?" Won a cup in my lifetime, won 30 cups in my life time and haven't missed the playoffs in 20 years, and roots for teams that have won cups in my lifetime. It's the same reason I can't bring myself to hate the leafs until they start beating us consistently.

Unfortunately lost amid all this nonsense is a very real problem, that female journalists are often treated like shit just because they're women. At least Gish tried to steer this whole situation towards that, even if she failed completely. As much as she tried to make the moral of the story "keep up hope girls, one day it'll get better," the actual moral is "don't fall back on being a minority because you did something stupid. It makes you look that much worse and sets your gender back even further. Acknowledge that you might have been in error because it will gain you that much more respect." The Columbia Missourian understood this when columnist Alex Ruppenthal shit all over the city of Buffalo during last year's NCAA tournament. They said "we're sorry, some people may have been offended, we'll leave the article up to maintain credibility and let the readers decide if things were in poor taste." Gish talks about ribbing being "a part of being a columnist" but seems to forget the accountability part. Instead of being arrogant and thinking that your shit doesn't stink, every once in a while you have to take a look at yourself and realize that if everyone thinks you wrote something awful...then you probably wrote something awful, even if you don't think so. As they say, perception is reality.

Calling Gish a c--- and telling her to get back in the kitchen is sleazy to the nth degree, but it doesn't automatically make her a decent writer, or a victim. I'm all for more female sportswriters, and I think that influx is coming eventually. As much as I believe in equality, women are a different gender and thus have a different perspective on things. But that's good, it's good and it's very intriguing, especially for us hockey fans. As a sport that often gets the short end of the stick, opening the doors to women (and other minorities) to an extent that no one else has will give us an edge. And we need all of them that we can get.

The Multi Car Pileup that Never Was

2011-10-01T21:31:00.000-04:00

Hypocrisy is Alive and Well on the Right OR Yeah Right...You're a Victim... /Sarcasm

2011-09-30T16:14:00.001-04:00

Jim Daly is the president of Focus on the Family, the group that was responsible for the Tim Tebow Super Bowl ad and a group that has ties to several Southern Poverty Law Center designated hate organizations. Recently he wrote a nice little article complaining about how the religious right has been demonized by "hate."

Daly uses the exact words: "speaking with reckless disregard for the truth and inciting panic is, at best, irresponsibly dangerous, and, at worst, beyond the covering of the First Amendment" to describe what Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgendered groups and supportors are doing to the religious right.

Really...really?! Calling a duck a duck is speaking with reckless disregard for the truth...

Not falsifying your medical credentials to give yourself an aura of expertise in discussing gay marriage and homosexuality as James Forrester, one of the chief proponents of North Carolina's ban on same sex marriage did?

Not claiming gays (and muslims) are driven by "dark energy" and an "Anti-christ spirit," as the American Family Institute's Bryan Fischer has.

Not relating homosexuality to perversion, alcoholism, and drug addiction as the editors of The Tulsa Beacon did in a commentary on a newly appointed homosexual Election Board member.

Not blaming the homosexual community for the fact that you've been charged with six felonies for running an investment scheme as this Montana Pastor did.

Not saying that gays "know the behavior they are engaging in is disordered" as the Liberty Council's Matt Barber did.

Not complaining that the U.S Census Bureau is tracking same-sex couples, like...hey it's Matt Barber again! did. (To be fair, this may be stupidity as much as it's an outright disregard for the truth.)

Not claiming that gays have "shortened lifespans and a high incidence of disease" as Peter LaBarbera from Americans for Truth did in citing two faulty studies that have since been pulled from the Americans for Truth website. Even the AFT knows they're a bunch of liars.

Not citing a study (that did not reference homosexual households at all) as "proof" that children are better raised in a heterosexual environment, AND continuing to cite the study after it's authors have protested and lodged formal complaints. The blame can go to pretty much every conservative organization for this one.

Not trying to smear the American Psychological Association for condemning Reorientatiopn/Reparative Therapy citing several distortions and outright lies.

Not referencing a condition that was abandoned as false by the medical community in the 1980s in recent attacks on homosexuality, and backing it up with sources that are anywhere from ten to forty years old as Peter LaBarbera and Conservipedia do.

Or referencing the American College of Pediatricians for ANYTHING. The ACP was formed as a direct retaliation to scientific studies that found no significant harm to children in same-sex households. Among the ACP's lies and distortions are:

Using outdated research.
Using outdated research after the researchers have complained that their work is being misinterpreted.
Using studies that have been struck down for using flawed methodology. (For example one study was cited as "proving" that children do worse in same-sex households. The only problem with that was that the study did not have anything to do with children at all. You know, a minor issue.)
Citing a study claiming it linked lesbians to alcoholism...even though the study was intended to observe how lesbians (who are already alcoholics) recover from alcoholism and was not an exploration of the prevalence of alcoholism within the lesbian community.

But remember, it's LGBT groups who are calling the above folks "haters" that are speaking with a reckless disregard for the truth. Sit down, I'm not even fucking done yet. It might also be a reckless disregard for the truth if you:

Repeat everything above with the Christian Medical and Dental Association. This one's on a tee though. Any medical group that feels the need to include "Christian" in their name is probably full of shit. I'm not saying that being a Christian practitioner of medicine is bad, I'm saying that if you use that as an identifier...something's wrong. It's about the medicine, not the religion.

Accuse Obama Appointee for a position in the U.S. Dept. of Education Kevin Jennings of allowing and encouraging the statutory rape of a child without anything whatsoever to back up your accusations. Among other things Jennings was accused of "handing out fisting kits to children." No, that is not a typo.

Cite anything with Paul Cameron's name one it, whose methods have been so thoroughly trashed by the scientific community that he's about as credible as a scientist as that homeless guy on the corner is as doomsday prognosticator. For those that don't know, Cameron published an article in 1985 that (among other things) claimed that students were more likely to be molested by a homosexual teacher. Which doesn't make sense when you realize that Cameron "did not obtain any data concerning the sexual orientation of the teachers." Uhh... Cameron has not only been kicked out of the American Psychological Association, but also condemned by the American Sociological Association, the Canadian Psychological Association, and the Center for Disease Control, yet his studies are frequently cited by anti-LGBT groups. Cameron now acts as the head of the Family Research Institute, a SPLC designated hate group.

Then go and defend Paul Cameron by claiming that the above organizations that have condemned him have done so through character attacks and without pointing out any specific flaws in his studies. As you can read above, this is not true, but I will post this letter from the APA anyways. What makes this especially delicious is that one of the sites defending Cameron, Conservapedia has stringent standards, "Everything you post must be true and verifiable." Uh...

Respond to those calling you out for using outdated and debunked sources by either redressing those sources and updating the dates, or publishing new articles that reference those outdated sources. Good job Family Research Council, another hate group.

Use phony experts. Glenn T. Stanton from Focus on the Family apparently "debates and lectures extensively on the issues of gender, sexuality, marriage, and parenting at universities and churches across the country." From STANTON'S OWN MOUTH (keyboard) "I don't know anyone who has referred to me as an expert on homosexuality." Referred, implied...splitting hairs.

Misuse data...part II. The right frequently cites the work of Dr. Robert Spitzer in defense of Reorientation Therapy in claiming that homosexuality is a choice and can be reversed. They continue to cite that work even though in 2006 "Spitzer said he now believes that some of those he interviewed for his study may have been lying to him or themselves."

Perpetuate any of these myths about homosexuals.

Oppose legislation that would prohibit bullying and protect LGBT students. Sorry readers, this one isn't a lie, it's just disgusting.

Use ONE EXAMPLE of a pro-LGBT book being used in a classroom to perpetuate the lie that homosexuals are infiltrating schools and indoctrinating children everywhere. From Kris Mineau, head of the Massachusetts Family Institute's own mouth: "I don’t have documentation of everything going on," Mineau said. "It’s very difficult to quantify."

Falsely link homosexuality and pedophilia. (FRC has since removed this from their website.)

Make up polls to deceive the public about DADT repeal opposition.

Claim that gays have never been persecuted. From the mouth of NOM-friendly Louis J. Marinelli III: "(Gays and lesbians) are not being repressed, discriminated against. There is no and never has ever been a homosexual man hunt for them. Jews, Christians, and Blacks were hunted down and murdered. Homosexuals have nothing in common with the three." I have a feeling Matthew Shepard's family would vehemently disagree.

Or accuse homosexuals of being behind the Nazi party in Germany during World War II.

Trot out a person with no qualifications whatsoever to defend Proposition 8. You know, or say "we don't need to have evidence at this point" when asked to produce evidence that the legalization of same sex marriage will cause harm.

Or have that witness say "the principle of equal human digity must apply to gay and lesbian persons......[w]e would be more American on the day we permitted same sex marriage than we were the day before." This is a man that anti-LGBT groups trotted out to DEFEND THEIR SIDE! That witness, not-an-expert David Blankenhorn also said "I believe that adopting same-sex marriage would be likely to improve the well-being of gay and lesbian households and their children." AND "My view is that at least some people voted for Proposition 8 on the basis of anti-gay stereotypes and prejudice." This one's not a lie either, it's just fucking hilarious.

And finally...

Claim homosexuals do not exist. Discredited researcher Linda Harvey: "There's no proof that there's ever anything like a gay, lesbian, or bisexual, or transgendered child, teen, or human."

Just remember, we're showing reckless disregard for the truth in calling those listed above haters and bigots.

Crappy Study Shows Change is Possible for Homosexuals

2011-09-29T21:05:00.000-04:00

In case you missed it, "researchers" Dr. Stanton Jones and Dr. Mark Yarhouse recently completed a study that examined individuals in Reorientation Therapy and concluded that it is possible for homosexuals to change their orientation. Granted, only the synopsis of the study has been released, but the problems, oh the problems with this study...

I don't think I even need to point out the flaw in assuming those enrolled in Reorientation Therapy are in any way an acceptable representation of the homosexual population.

Jones and Yarhouse wanted to track only first year enrollees in the Reorientation Program to eliminate incidences in which participants were misrepresenting or misremembering their initial homosexual attraction. Unfortunately, they couldn't find enough, so they also accepted second and third year enrollees. Rather than keep these populations separate, they combined them. The problem with adding second and third year enrollees is that it does not track the process from gay to straight and allows for the misremembering of those later participants.

A quarter of the participants in the study dropped out during the study...and were only tangentially mentioned. The assumption is that a dropout equals a failure, but Jones and Yarhouse said that there were enough people that dropped out because they were "cured" to make this statistically insignificant. Do you believe that? I don't.

Jones and Yarhouse relied on interviews and psychological assessments of homosexual attraction, not an observation of physiological responses. In other words what little scientific basis there was for their study, was flawed.

They called bullshit on their own study: We cannot be absolutely certain of perfect representativeness, since no scientific evidence exists for describing the parameters of such representativeness.

And then called unbullshit: Still, we are confident that our participant pool is a good snapshot of those seeking help from Exodus (the name of the Reorientation P.

They did not detail how they selected study participants, which is a HUGE red flag.

Some of their data has been called into question for being flat out wrong, such as the median age of study participants.

They called bullshit on their own study again: It would appear, then, that while change away from homosexual orientation is related to change toward heterosexual orientation, the two are not identical processes. The subjects appear to more easily decrease homosexual attraction than they increase heterosexual attraction.

Jones and Yarhouse wanted to account for participants that had some degree of heterosexuality heading into the study (being bisexual) because this would not dictate a change. To do so, they classified a subset of the participants as "Truly Gay." How did they do this? No one knows!

Perhaps the full study will right some of these misconceptions, but based on the synopsis, that seems unlikely.

Adults I Hated as a Kid

2011-09-28T18:11:00.000-04:00

The Kidder:
This was probably my least favorite person as a kid. I think a lot of children are fairly shy, especially around grownups they've just met, and I was probably shyer than most. So when someone approached me and was all "I hate you and I'm going to kill you, you little bastard...oh just kidding! I'm actually friendly, how ya doin'?" Fuck you, fuck you and your fake anger. I should have punched you in the balls. "Hey I like you...FALCON PUNCH! See, it works the other way too, asshole." No one likes the kidder.

The Overly Physical Guy:
Oh...oh god damnit. No you're not...oh god damnit, yes you are going to lift me up. What the hell is wrong with you? I'm three feet tall for a reason, I like being close to the ground. Now you're going to pat me on the head, toussle my hair. Who the hell are you anyways? GET YOUR FUCKING HAND OFF MY SHOULDER! STOP TOUCHING ME, STOP TOUCHING ME! I never liked physical contact much, so these people always creeped me the hell out.

Sport, Champ, Kiddo Guy:
I have a name, and unlike you, a triple digit IQ. Therefore your attempts to endear yourself to me with a false sense of familiarity have not gone unnoticed. You have noticed that I am smaller and younger than you. Excellent, I have noticed that you are fatter and balder than me. Shall we commence with the nicknames?

Cop Mustache Guy
Seriously, what the hell? The only conceivable explanation is a vampire, because there is no way you can look at your reflection and not feel shame.

You're Just a Kid Guy (Actually, Usually Woman):
A disproportionate amount of women go absolutely retarded around kids. Patronizing, condescending, ugh. The worst is when they spell things out like you're one of their rat dogs. Bitch, I came out of the womb reading at a college level. I can understand what you're saying.

You're Just a Kid Guy Part II:
You're personality is valueless! It's just a phase! Look at all the stupid shit you're into! To be fair, some of this is true. People change and likes and hobbies go in and out of style. I used to be a bigtime gamer, and now I'm lucky if I feel like playing anything more than once or twice a week. But not everything does. There are things about you that you'd swear had been present since birth, but to a lot of adults your "kid" interests are all just things that will change, that you'll tire of, or that you'll "grow out of." Fuck em.

Pontificating on Scrabble

2011-09-28T16:49:00.000-04:00

Note: This will probably come off as bragging, but I don't really care.

I play Scrabble...a lot. Probably enough so that I can be called something more than a casual player, but I don't engage in tournament or club play.

Scrabble uses what's called an Elo rating system similar to the one used for chess. Generally the rating system calculates the relative strengths of each player based on their record, the quality of their opponents, and the skill of those opponents. It's pretty fair because wins aren't the end all be all to the ratings, you have to play well. Losing to a good player may still cause your rating to increase while barely beating a bad player might cause it to go down.

From what I can tell Scrabble starts each new player at a rating of 1200, which seems to be the average for tournament and club players (though a bit higher than the average for all players) and moves your score up or down as you continue to play more games.

On the Scrabble app for droid, I have a current record of 44-5 and a rating of 1573. Generally a rating of 1600 and up is considered expert level (which is what I typically play at). Most people on there seem to be in the 1100-1300 range for ratings which has led to my somewhat bloated record. (At least two of my losses are forfeits before I realized I could force idle players to forfeit.) Right now my high play is 100 (Quitted) and my high game score of a complete game is 454.

The thing I like about Scrabble is that each game is vastly different, and that there are a multitude of things that go into playing well. You need to have a good vocabulary for sure, but you also need to be able to spot good plays on premium tiles. Great words do you no good if you're not doubling and tripling your points. You also need to have a good memory, knowing a lot of two and three letter words will be crucial to your success. Plus your mind has to be active on every turn. It's not like Monopoly where you can buy a bunch of premium properties and sit around rolling dice mindlessly. A crappy play could kill you, either setting up your opponent, leaving you with god awful letters in your rack, or just not advancing your score enough.

A Recounting of My Interview

2011-09-27T18:16:00.000-04:00

Some of you know that last Friday I had an interview with a company that seemed a lot more excited about the prospect of hiring me than any other. Of course that in turn made me a lot more excited about meeting with them than I had been with other companies AND (here's the good part) a lot more excited because the type of work I would be doing greatly appeals to me.

The interview process always makes me laugh. Here you've got a few hours to try and gauge whether or not someone can be an asset to your company, something you can probably really only learn by working with them for a few months. Of course by then you're out their salary and the resources taken to train them. I think more and more (especially in a technical background) companies are checking for a select few things. 1). You are not an asshat, lying, or misrepresenting yourself. 2). You have either some technical background and familiarity with their business. 3). You have the capacity to grow and learn in the areas you might not necessarily be as strong.

The position for which I was interviewed may be the one that has least matched my schooling and experience so far. It is a different type of engineering than I majored in or worked in, but it may also be the position for which I am the best fit. I tried to make both sides of that abundantly clear; yes there is a lot to the job that is new to me...BUT...I have experience with this, this, and this so I can definitely hit the ground running if you hire me. (At the end of the day it isn't about getting a job, it's about getting a job that is a good fit for both parties. A lot of interview tips suggest bending the truth and selling out to get a job...I do not do this.)

I sat down with human resources to get some company background, which was good because it got me warmed up for the technical parts of the interview. It'd been a while since I'd interviewed at all so it was a good low pressure primer. Then I was introduced to the technical directors/hiring managers to talk job specifics. The questions were pretty typical, what have you done before, where are your strengths, how do you feel about the work we do here, etc. My goal was to take a few of the things I'd done previously and show how they prepared me for work at this company, which I think I accomplished pretty well. Being able to banter well enough about a business I'd never worked in to be able to take a look at the technical documents on a few of their previous projects I think made me look really attractive as a potential hire.

After that I sat down with four of the cube folks, i.e. the actual engineers, people who I would be sharing responsibilities and working with. Again my goal was to take my relevant experience and use it to show that even though I'd be coming into a new field, I'd be coming in with some decent background knowledge, and again I think is succeeded.

Here is where a few things started to jump out at me. First, this company is easily the friendliest and most laid back that I've seen. (I guess if you're as busy as they have been, you start to go crazy if you don't have that sort of attitude.) They also seemed to be very comfortable with my lack of experience, reiterating that most of the things I didn't know could really only be learned on the job anyways. Two of the four took me on a tour of the facilities, with which I was very impressed. It's also new to have the manufacturing process on site so you can literally walk a hundred feet and see what you've specified being made. It's nice when a company recognizes that they have to sell themselves to prospective employees, even in a bad economy. Most don't.

What I liked:

I'd be doing a lot of writing.
There are a lot of others with similar experience. Being the only new guy sucks.
They're committed to growing my skills.
There is no shortage of work.
The company has extremely high rating across the board in safety, finances, diversity, dedication, and keeping their employees happy.

What I didn't like:

I haven't gotten any good information on company benefits yet.
They're in the midst of some restructuring (splitting into three divisions because they're TOO diverse and TOO financially strong to keep everything under one banner). While this isn't necessarily a bad thing (and will be a good thing in the long run) it does create some headaches.
The typical shift is 8-5. This is semantics, but I'd prefer to work a 7-4.
It's not in Buffalo.

Almost certain I'll be accepting an offer if it comes.

More to Story Involving Supposed Religious Intolerance...Shocker

2011-09-27T17:45:00.000-04:00

Last week it emerged that a student was supposedly suspended just for saying that homosexuality runs counter to his Christian upbringings. My initial reaction to the story was, and I quote "he probably called someone a fucking faggot."

Okay, so maybe I wasn't exactly correct, but news has emerged (shocker) that there is more to the story. The student in question had been on watch for repeatedly (for over a year) harassing the suspending teacher (which included classroom vandalism) over the belief that the teacher was gay. Other students in the classroom have since come forward to support this side of the story.

He reports (and has reported to his school) repeated acts of anti-gay harassment by several students that occurred this and last year, including by a group of four specific boys in this class, of whom Ary (the student) is one. Among other incidents, Mr. Franks (the teacher) maintains a “word wall” for his German IV class on which he posts articles and images from several journals, including the German magazine, Stern. One of these articles concerned gay rights in Germany, and included a photo of two men kissing. The group of four boys concerned was sitting near this image immediately before Mr. Franks found it had been ripped from the wall. The student and his lawyer are now asserting that including this photo among the others constituted his teacher’s “imposing acceptance of homosexuality” in his classroom. These students subsequently took every opportunity to denounce homosexuality in class, frequently without context; that is, with the topic having otherwise been broached.

On the particular day in which this incident occurred, Mr. Franks was opening class when the topic of Christianity in Germany was broached by one student, who asked what churches were there, another whether they read the Bible in English, etc. Franks asserts that the topic of homosexuality was not broached in any way, and that Ary‘s assertions to the contrary are entirely false. At this point, Ary declared, with a class audience, “Gays can’t be Christians; homosexuality is wrong,” looking directly at Mr. Franks. Franks says he understands and affirms students’ right to free speech, and that he is perfectly prepared to lead a respectful discussion on topics such as gay rights that allows for the assertion of opinions with which he disagrees. He has led such discussion in the past in his sociology classes. But in this case, hr feels the context makes it clear that this remark was made ad hominem, aimed specifically at him to devalue him and any information he might share on the topic of religion, on the basis of his perceived sexual orientation.

I for one and shocked and appalled that the religious right has broken one of their own laws by telling a very incomplete story that was essentially a lie of omission. Or...you know...not at all surprised and a little disappointed that they didn't do a better job.

It's just another volley in the continued efforts of the right to spread misinformation about homosexuals and their supposed "agenda" (why they don't call it a manifesto, a much scarier word, is beyond me). In this case the right is promoting the lie that the homosexual community is hell bent on stamping out religion in all forms, something that couldn't be further from the truth. Even a survey that religious groups are attempting to use to paint homosexuals as heathens has found that 60% of homosexuals consider their faith to be very important to them.

George Barna, who heads The Barna Group, said the survey results show that homosexual adults are not the “godless, hedonistic, Christian bashers” that some portray them to be.

It's pathetic that some Americans have such a deep bigotry that they feel the need to go against values they supposedly hold above all else to spread such lies. What's even worse though are all the Christians that don't know any better but to believe them.

The NYFRF Lies Again, Shocker

2011-09-20T03:32:00.000-04:00

Are you ready for some GREAT news? America is #prolife!

Usually I don't get into the abortion debate because I'm male and it (so far) has not really applied to me. In general I believe that women should have the right to do with their body as they choose, but I strongly disagree with late term abortions and instances where it's used as emergency birth control by stupid teenagers. Anyways, the source where the NYFRF gets its data is this CNN poll.

The part I want to highlight are the first two questions the poll asked.

1). Do you think abortion should be legal under any circumstances, legal under only certain circumstances, or illegal in all circumstances?

25% - All abortions legal

53% - Some abortions legal

21% - No Abortions legal

2). Do you think abortion should be legal under any circumstances, legal under only certain circumstances, legal in a few circumstances or illegal in all circumstances?

25% - All abortions legal

12% - Most abortions legal

41% - Few abortions legal

21% - No abortions legal

That the NYFRF is counting that 41% as pro-life is absolutely absurd and the kind of preposterous lie that it, and organizations like it propagate.

Buffalo Bills 2-0; A Look Back and A Look Ahead

2011-09-18T18:47:00.000-04:00

In week one the Bills picked up a blowout 41-7 win against a Kansas City Chiefs team that looked like it had never played together before. To prove this wasn't a fluke, the Lions destroyed the Chiefs 48-3 the following (this) week. The Bills had some fortunate things happen in this game, (it probably should have been a two touchdown win, not a five touchdown one) but they were clearly a better team.

In week two the Bills couldn't tackle, couldn't cover, and couldn't call plays for shit on either side of the ball...and still picked up a 38-35 win against a travel-weary Raiders team that (so far as we can tell) is somewhere around 'okay.' This game looked like two 8-8 teams going head to head that might see a 2-3 win swing in either direction depending on how their luck falls.

So what do we have? Good teams beat bad teams handily, and they win games against mediocre to good teams when it's crunch-time. The Bills have done both, but it's hard to get too excited. For one thing, the run defense is still a huge question mark. Even though their yardage was low, the Chiefs averaged nearly five yards a carry. And the Raiders were gashing the Bills on the ground before they realized they could gash the Bills through the air at a quicker pace. What else?

Ryan Fitzpatrick is the quarterback Bills fans have been waiting for. He's got 100% of the intangibles to win games and 75% of the skills. That's a pretty decent combo.
Fred Jackson is unbelievable. It's clear he sees the field better than any other player on the team. They guy ALWAYS hits the right lane, ALWAYS makes the right cut.
We're seeing flashes of what we thought we had in C.J. Spiller. He might never be a Chris Johnson (it's still too early to tell), but he's showing signs that he can be a big asset.
Lee who? 12 catches for 162 yards and 2 TDs in two games for Stevie Johnson. That's a ballpark 96 catch, 1200 yard, 16 TD pace. Rumors of his imminent demise in increased coverage have been greatly exaggerated.
With David Nelson, Donald Jones, and Scott Chandler all snagging their fair share of balls, it's pretty evident that the Bills WR corps are at the very least pleasantly effective. They haven't been that as a unit since...?
The defense still sucks...but it causes turnovers and on occasion looks pretty good. Didn't have that last season.

Let's look ahead:

Week 3 - New England
There are very few things that can happen that will keep the Patriots from putting up big numbers. They are, the D-line having the game of their life and getting tons of pressure, a shit ton of horrible weather, and Tom Brady getting hit by a bus. I see this game ending in the 40-20 ranger in New England's favor.

Week 4 - @ Cincinnati
This feels like a perfect time to play the Bengals, who ditched a few ineffective big money wide receivers of their own. There will be plenty of film on Andy Dalton by week four and his effectiveness should start to decrease a bit. Control Cedric Benson; I don't think Dalton can win a game on his own. Bills 24-10.

Week 5 - Philadelphia
Hard to judge only seeing Philadelphia play one game against a St. Louis team that probably isn't very good. Michael Vick looked ordinary stats-wise, but continues to have big play ability. That's how Philly's seems to operate: crap, crap, crap, 80 yard TD, crap, 40 yard TD, etc. Big question is will Philly's pieces have gelled into a team by then? I say yes: 30-13 Eagles.

Week 6 - @ New York
Another difficult game to gauge with New York losing to a Redskins team that is probably about as good as the Bills are. They'll probably beat St. Louis, but it'll probably be ugly. This is one I can either see Eli Manning having one of his random ridiculous games, or the Bills just shutting him down and grinding out a win. 20-10 Bills, or a blowout Giants win.

Week 7 - Bye
Bills head to the break with four wins and two losses (or at least two wins and four losses) and no doubt a few gimpy players. It's kind of a tough place to have a bye as the rest of their season is brutal.

Week 8 - Washington
Should be a very close game, most likely decided by a field goal. I don't trust Rex Grossman one bit, so you better believe I'm taking the Bills in this one. 27-24.

Week 9 - New York
Regardless of the skill of either team, the Bills always seem to split with the Jets. Taking the win at home and the loss in three weeks on the road. 24-17 Bills. At this point the Bills are an overachieving 6-2. Wow.

Week 10 - @ Dallas
We'll see how Tony Romo is doing. If he's in, this game is a lot closer, if not, I think the Bills win in a laugher, avenging that atrocious Monday night game a few years back. 30-14 Bills.

Week 11 - @ Miami
Taking a split with the Dolphins as well. 24-21 Miami.

Week 12 - @ New York
Doesn't seem like the team has much of a shot in this game. The Jets by a comfortable 24-13 score.

Week 13 - Tennessee
Jake Locker, 400 yards passing, 4 INTs, sacked 4 times. 34-14 Bills.

Week 14 - @ San Diego
Norv Turner will probably make this game closer than it should be. 21-10 Chargers.

Week 15 - Miami
Don't think the Dolphins are good anywhere, and very rarely are they good in Buffalo. 21-3 Bills. Staring down the last two games with a 9-5 record and probably in the drivers seat of a wildcard spot.

Week 16 - Denver
I think Denver is terrible. Coathangers in full force against Tim Tebow. Bills - 50, Hate Monger Tebo - -32. Fuck Tim Tebow.

Week 17 - @ New England
Will New England be resting their starters? Probably not. That's not really part of Belichick's MO. Plus the Patriots aren't good enough to run away with the AFC. New England is just flat out better than Buffalo and they'll show it again. 31-10 New England.

So based on what we've seen so far, 10-6 doesn't seem too far-fetched. We'll know a lot more when the Bills go up against a decent team in New England next week.

Will Gay Marriage Weaken Religion?

2011-09-15T07:24:00.000-04:00

Anyone with half a brain recognizes that same sex marriage poses no threat to the sanctity of traditional marriage whatsoever, and that those assertions by religious groups are at best poorly disguised lies. I have to wonder though if Gay Marriage won't weaken religion, at least indirectly.

This story is recent, but not unique; an Illinois Foster Care Group has lost a contract with the state because they only place children with married couples, excluding same-sex couples (as Illinois has only legalized civil unions). What this means is that they will lose a huge chunk of state funding along with the ability to place children that have been taken into custody by the state. (They will still be able to place children that are not in state custody.) This kind of thing has been happening to a lot of agencies that have ties to both religion and adoptive services. The end result is unaffiliated agencies placing children in a more diverse set of homes (which sounds great for the kids, but you can believe religious groups don't care about them).

If fewer children are placed in the custody of cherry-picked religious homes, it stands to reason that fewer children will be indoctrinated (hey the right doesn't have a monopoly on that word) by said religious parents. That sort of thing should only accelerate the acceptance of more secular practices (LGBT rights being one of them) while further marginalizing religion. (Especially since LGBT couples, even if they retain ties to their faith, might not be so willing to bring their children up in a religion that has denigrated them for years.)

At least that's my pondering of the night, and that's all it is right now. With only a few states legalizing same sex marriage so far and some models predicting that the legalization in all fifty states is as much as ten years away, we've still got a long way to go. But it makes me wonder...

Sex Ed and Parental Rights

2011-09-14T07:47:00.000-04:00

One of the biggest talking points of those opposed to comprehensive sexual education in schools is the assertion that such things are up to the parents. After all, they're the ones responsible for raising their kid to become a productive member of society, they should supply the majority of input that their children receive.

That's all well and good in a world where everyone is either A). Knowledgeable enough to speak intelligently on the subject, or B). Dedicated enough to acquire the knowledge they need to speak intelligently on the subject; AND ALSO C). Willing to broach the subject. This is not the case, or to put it more bluntly; have you SEEN the teen pregnancy rates in the United States? SPOILER ALERT: We're number one. This is not a good thing. At least we're number two here.

It's pretty clear that American parents are (largely) completely incompetent when it comes to promoting sexual well being among their children. This is a topic that many of them have proven that they cannot be trusted to handle and thus schools have at least partially taken over.

And really, sex is no different than math or English or history, or a number of other things very few parents are qualified to teach. (This is kind of why we have schools in the first place.) And while there are cultural differences in opinions on sex, there are cultural (and professional) differences in opinion on what math and English is necessary to be a productive member of society and what is absolute horseshit. (Teach my kids how to write their name in cursive and then fuck off.)

What I'd like to do is shove a microphone in the faces of these parents that are so opposed to their kids learning about sex in schools and then ask them what they've taught their children about sex. Anyone that tells me "nothing" gets a tattoo that says 'ignorance-perpetuating moron' on their head. Because if you're complaining that it's your job to teach your kids about sex, and then not exercising the right to perform that task, you're a fucking idiot.

Apologies to the Christians that aren't Morons...But a Lot of You Are Morons

2011-09-14T07:05:00.000-04:00

Really this isn't about any one thing in particular, rather about how Christians tend to cherry pick the bible based on their own biases and prejudices. For lack of a better way of putting it, the Bible is a big old book with a lot of stuff in it that is stupid, outdated, makes no sense, or some wonderful combination of the three. And Christians are okay with only following bits and pieces selected by a complex process of ???????

It gets even better when they extend this logic onto things on which the Bible has nothing to say. One of those is the issue of pornography. Hardcore religious groups hate porn something fierce, and they'll speak out against it constantly, usually when children are involved. (PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!) The most recent of this abomination is the NYFRF posting an article about the ACLU.

It seems the ACLU has taken umbrage with the fact that many school filters aimed at blocking pornography, also block legitimate Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgendered websites. You can make the David Silverman face at their complaints about that all you want, but I actually started thinking in a different direction.

Rape, sex, sodomy, the selling of children, slavery, prostitution...all of these things are in the bible, why the hell aren't we blocking religious websites too? What the hell are you talking about, it's the bible, nothing is explicit...because it's the bible! At least that's what I imagine the religious response to those comments to be. If you need, you can click on the David Silverman face again. Granted we all have a certain slant we put on things due to our personal thoughts and feelings, but a lot of Christians seem to be very adept at making theirs especially retarded.

The Buffalo Media: Why the Gailey Incident Was Stupid

2011-09-13T17:44:00.000-04:00

I seem to be on a bit of a roll today, so I'll add my own opinion to something that had people atwitter last week that DGWU already touched on.

For those that missed it, Bills head coach Chan Gailey said something to the effect of "I expect to win every game, if you don't you're a pussy" in a southern accent that somehow manages to be both endearing and hilarious at the same time. (As opposed to Buddy Nix, who is 100% hilarious.)

The response to this from people that respond poorly to things for a living was basically "lol Chan expects to go undefeated, what a moron." They then proceeded to further criticize Gailey's comments mostly because they have word count guidelines and sometimes meaningless blather is needed to fill them.

The stupidity of this response can be summarized pretty simply: the media spent three years criticizing Dick Jauron for being "a chode of epic limpness" (pretty sure Jeremy White wrote that at least once) and now wants to turn around and criticize Gailey for actually having a pulse and setting goals that involve winning? Are you fucking kidding me? If there ever was clear cut evidence that local sports media is 99% assholes who like to complain about things, this is it.

Especially since I'm sure that at least once, at least one of them has written about how Buffalo has a losing culture and how someone needs to change that. ISN'T THAT HOW YOU DO IT?! By saying things like "I don't just hope to win, I expect to win," and "I expect to win every game." With shit like this, it's no wonder Ted Black and Terry Pegula came in and treated legit media like they're fruit and toothbrushes in a kid's Halloween bag for the delicious chocolate of bloggers.

"I don't just hope to write good things, I expect to write them." You know what, I can see why the media took issue with Gailey's comments. They go against their very core beliefs.

I'm Glad Jagr Shit on the Pens

2011-09-13T17:19:00.000-04:00

I'll be up front about a few things here; I don't know much about Jaromir Jagr, and I don't remember his previous time with the Pittsburgh Penguins. The only information I can glean comes from Pittsburgh media articles a decade old (and we know how trustworthy the media is when it comes to European players, right Buffalo?). All I know is that the Flyers offered him what amounts to be chump change (considering what he's made in his career) more that Pittsburgh did and he took it.

But I can tell you one thing, it's great to see Pens fans whining about how one of their iconic players went to play for their most hated rival. I want to spread those bitch-tears on the floor and roll around in them like a Labrador in a black and yellow dead animal.

It's not bad enough that Pittsburgh sports fans have a massive inferiority complex in general perpetuated by stupid sports casters and talk show hosts. Oh, their fans "travel so well." Bullshit. They're just as big of bandwagoning fucks as Cowboys and Yankees fans, but no one calls them on it. It's even worse in the NHL where they get publicity out the ass for having one of the most ~~marketable~~ boring but talented players in the game. It just feeds and feeds their overgrown fan ego making it more intolerable by the second and I am glad Jaromir Jagr let some of the air out of it.

Guess what Pens fans, you're not god's gift to hockey (Terry Pegula is), you're not special, and everyone is sick of your shit. There are some players that might not want to play for Dan Bylsma (who looks like a serial rapist...WHY THE FUCK DOES NO ONE NOTICE THIS!), or with ~~Marc Savard~~ ~~Paul Kariya~~ ~~Eric Lindros~~ Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, and Matt Cooke, or in front of your fans (who make Leafs fans look like a 1920s prohibitionist league). Welcome back to earth.

Tim Thomas Should Fucking Retire and Buy an Arena Football Team

2011-09-13T01:06:00.000-04:00

In case you didn't pick up on it, the title is a reference to John Elway who put together one of the best statistical seasons of his career at the age of 38, annihilated the Atlanta Falcons in one of the most boring Super Bowls ever, won the Super Bowl MVP and then decided, "you know what, I'm going out on top."

Meanwhile Tim Thomas put together a record breaking regular season, then followed it up with a record breaking playoffs, a Stanley Cup victory, and a Conn Smythe trophy to boot. Just retire. Everything else is going to be a disappointment. The only reason Thomas could possibly have for playing is a "fuck you guys for doubting me," victory lap, which is completely understandable, and also going to result in a much worse season.

It gets even more puzzling when you consider the replacements. John Elway left a gaping hole in the Broncos. Thomas would be leaving the Bruins in the hands of Tukka Rask, a somewhat insane, but extremely capable young goalie. And I'm not saying this because I hate the Bruins (fuck em all) or because I hate Tim Thomas (seeing Thomas's vindication was the only reason I could stand Boston's victory). I actually like the guy, which is one reason I don't want to see him fuck his way to a mediocre season because he won't care as much and won't get as lucky as he did in 2010-2011. I also want to see him leave the game on his terms, rather than get gradually squeezed out by shithead Tukka Rask (which is almost certainly going to happen). There are so few things you have control over in an NHL career, and Thomas is in a unique position to have the most recent memories of him remain eminently positive. That, I think, is worth something.

Tips for the InterviewER

2011-09-10T18:19:00.000-04:00

We tend to think of interviews as a one way street, especially in this economy where more people need jobs than companies need positions filled, but this isn't always the case. A lot of companies need to make themselves look attractive to potential employees as much as those people need to get hired. Just like there are things a person can say that might not seem overtly negative, but imply negative things that might disqualify them from being hired, interviewers are at risk of doing the same thing and making their company look unattractive. (Note these are generally for white collar jobs where you need more than a clean criminal record and a working brain.)

"Are you willing to work weekends?"
To me this is crippling for a company that typically employs 9 to 5. I think that most office folks are perfectly willing to work weekends, so long as it's not the norm. But when an interviewer has to make it a point to ask, it feels like you're going to get Lumburghed at every conceivable opportunity.

"What are your biggest strengths and weaknesses" and any other "typical" interview question.
One, it makes the interviewer look like a completely uncreative moron. If you're interviewing for a technical position (like engineering), 99% of the interview should be spent discussing technical aspects. But it hides the real reason questions like this are asked, to attempt to decipher your personality in an utterly bizarre atmosphere. I know that personality is important for most jobs, but it's much easier to pick things up having a conversation than it is asking stupid questions. And if you are asking me a lot of psychobabble shit, I'm going to get the impression that your office is a gossipy shithole.

"Where do you see yourself in five/ten years?"
Not working here! Companies are worried about loyalty, I get it. After all it sucks to waste resources hiring and training someone only to see them jump ship when something better comes along. But I've found that companies that are worried about loyalty aren't loyal themselves. They'll either drag their feet on promoting you (not promote you), or they'll kick your ass to the curb the second they start having trouble. Plus studies have shown that it's better to hire ambitious workers that might jump ship if they find something better than it is to hire loyal yes-men that are okay with being stuck. This question makes me feel like a company wants me to be dependent on them, like they're a drug.

"What do you know about our company?"
This one pisses me off for a lot of reasons. First of all, a lot of my job-seeking experience has been in attending career fairs where I talk to twenty different reps. You're always told to know something about a company whose rep you're going to speak with, but when you've got twenty of them, it's not going to happen.

Then there's the other side of things. Most company websites have the most PR-ed up bullshit articles that it's impossible to actually tell when they do. Because "finding innovative solutions for clientele" means absolutely nothing. I've found a great counter to this question is to fit one of my own in early on in the interview: "tell me about the last project you worked on."

"Are you currently employed?"
It's okay when it's used as a lead in to talk about relevant work experience. It's not okay when you simply want to know when someone is employed or not because it's a black mark to a lot of companies to be unemployed. (Which is fucking stupid.)

"I'm not a (technical profession), I'm from HR."Leave now, you are in no way qualified to decide whether or not I fit a technical position.

Ironically, one of the things that doesn't really turn me off is when the person sitting opposite me is a bad interviewer. A lot of the time mid-level engineers are just thrown into the interviewing processes by their boss (especially if the regular interviewer isn't available) and that's kind of a weird situation to find yourself in. Plus usually when this happens, all those annoying typical interview questions are thrown out because the interviewer is more comfortable talking about the technical aspects of the job, or what they've worked on. And that's the most important thing anyways: does the candidate have some familiarity with the actual work the company does?

Poster Shops

2011-09-10T15:40:00.000-04:00

I should probably just stop going in them.

Working on Taro Says

2011-09-02T18:57:00.001-04:00

For those of you that don't know, Taro Says is an idea for a book I had several months ago (long before Mary Wall came calling with her documentary). I wanted to get in touch with Sabres fans of all walks of life and compile their stories on whatever they want to talk about into a book. I've found that if there's one thing that fans love, it's reminiscing with other fans.

I'll be blunt: I want your stories about you and the Sabres, and I want as many as possible. I see this going one of three ways.

You write something yourself and send it to me. Other than correcting for grammar/readability I will leave things virtually unchanged.
You have a conversation with me/tell me stories via instant messenger, in which case I'll be doing a huge copy-past job while filling words in to make the transition from internet conversation to something suitable for a book.
You speak to me in person, in which case I'll transcribe your words as best I can, again keeping as much of your voice as possible while still making it readable.

Obviously some are easier than others, but I don't have much of a preference. I just want as much input from other fans as possible.

I'll post the general outline I have below. Things are subject to change based on what people want to send and what they want to talk about. Some categories may generate very little interest/stories so they may get scaled back or cut entirely. I don't want to place any limitations on anyone, so write as much as you want about whatever you want, on as many topics as you want. (I think people like talking about themselves, so hopefully you won't need much encouragement.)

My idea for formatting is to head each story within each chapter with "Person says..." and then whatever they've written or whatever I've written based on a conversation with them. So if there's a particular way you want to be referred to let me know, otherwise I'll just use first name only. I think that since a lot of the contributors will be bloggers, I'll have an appendix listing them and their sites (provided they're Sabres related), so if you want to be included there, just give me the info.

I really want this to be a collection of individual voices and stories, so outside of grammar mistakes and misspellings, and fitting things into the appropriate chapters, I don't plan on changing anything.

This is my goal with regards to publishing (I'm not 100% sure I can do things this way, but pretty sure):
I want to make the book free on Smashwords which offers formats for most eReaders in addition to plain text and PDF formats for reading on a computer. If people do want to pay, I'll put a paid electronic version on Kindle's Amazon.com site and a paid hard copy version on lulu.com.

You can get at me on:
Twitter - @CriminallyVu1ga
AIM - CriminallyVu1gar
E-mail - Baseball74656@yahoo.com

The Outline:

Part I: Great Moments in Sabres History as Seen by the Fans

Chapter 1: Before There Were Sabres
Growing up with Hockey
Rooting for the Buffalo Bisons

Chapter 2: Getting a Team
Where Were You When You Heard the News?
Did Things Change in Buffalo?

Chapter 3: Humble Beginnings
Getting Gilbert Perreault
The French Connection
A Swift Rise to the Top and the 74-75 Cup Finals

Chapter 4: Settling In
Through the 70s and 80s
The Departure of The French Connection
Lindy Ruff as a Player
The Playoff Wins Drought

Chapter 5: The Glorious 90s
Celebrating May Day
Alexander Mogilny, Pat Lafontaine and Dominik Hasek
Farewell to The Buffalo Memorial Auditorium
Lindy Ruff as a Coach
The 97-98 Conference Finals
The 98-99 Cup Finals and No Goal

Chapter 6: Tense Times
The Ownership Issues
The Lockout Year
Prevailing Through

Chapter 7: 2005-2006, Rick Jeanneret's Favorite Season
Low Expectations and Remarkable Results
Campbell's Hit, Briere's Game Winner, and Whooping the Flyers
Pominville's Shorthanded Clincher and the Senators Shocker
Defensemen Dropping Like Flies, Briere Sends it to Seven, but the Fans See Disappointment

Chapter 8: 2006-2007, Being the Class of the NHL
High Expectations and the President's Trophy
Steamrolling the Isles
Difficulties with the Rangers and Chris Drury and Max Afinogenov Play Heroes
The Senators get Retribution

Chapter 9: Looking for Better Days
Losing Briere and Drury
Missing the Playoffs
New Ownership and a Look into the Future

Part II: Great Moments in the Lives of Sabres Fans

Chapter 10: And So it Begins
Your First Sabres Game
Starting Young and Being Raised a Sabres Fan
Starting Old and Finally Seeing the Light
Early Memories
Shepherding Young Fans into the Fold

Chapter 11: Through the Years
Togetherness and Sabres with the Family
Growing with the Team
Favorite Players Through the Years
Friends You Made at Sabres Games

Chapter 12: Add a Lot of Blue, a Little Gold, and Cook With Passion
The Best Stories from Inside Buffalo Memorial Auditorium
The Best Stories from Inside HSBC Arena
The Best Stories from the Plaza
The Best Stories from the Bar
The Best Stories from Home

Chapter 13: Thanks for the Memories
Bidding Farewell to the Aud
The Greatest Game You Ever Saw
Remembering Ted Darling
Remembering Rick Jeanneret

Chapter 14: The Hopeful Future
Where Will You Be When the Sabres Win the Stanley Cup?

Motivation in Sports

2011-09-02T16:56:00.000-04:00

Justin Bourne wrote an article about finding motivation during the offseason when there's no hockey to be played (and thus no competition to be had). I find myself identifying with Bourne's columns a lot, not because I have any great talent, but because my hockey "career" is only three years old. His articles about finding your way and growing comfortable among skilled players resonate with me because I'm right there, albeit at a much lower level.

Fuck you, it went in, didn't it? This sums up my hockey career pretty well; ass-ugly appearance, good results.

What's interesting about this particular column is that I think a lot of us end up with the reaction "you make $$$, what more motivation do you need?" For rec. athletes, there are no dollar signs, and for someone new to the game with (much) room for improvement, the motivation has to come from somewhere else.

I understand that it's a rec. league and that the objective is to have fun, so you won't find me hitting the weight room six days a week or skating for hours on end, but I do have high expectations for myself. I guess that's where my motivation comes from, knowing what I'm capable of and working on the necessary skills to get to that point. Of course it also helps to play pick-up games with guys that played college hockey and watch them do something and think, "that was awesome, I want to learn how to do that."

There are two paths I think, "eh, it's a rec. league, who cares," and "I know I can play better than this." I've never been one for complacency so I've always chosen the latter, something that has led teammates to refer to me as both Crash (because if you don't lose an edge every once in a while, you're not trying hard enough), and the James Brown (The hardest working man in show business) of Hockey. I think the worst feeling in the world is to step into the locker room after a game, any game, and not feel at least a little tired and sore. I hate driving home thinking that I could have done more, or I could have skated harder, regardless of the Rec. League status. That's where my motivation comes from night in and night out. If I can satisfy that requirement, I find that my other goals, being a good teammate, winning, and putting up points come pretty easy.

Hockey Sticks

2011-09-01T23:59:00.000-04:00

Should the NHL Ban Fighting Entirely?

2011-08-31T19:11:00.000-04:00

So far this summer the hockey community has seen Derek Boogaard, Rick Rypien, and Wade Belak pass away, Boogaard from an overdose of painkillers, Rypien by suicide, and Belak (unconfirmed at this point) also from an overdose of painkillers. All three have one thing in common:

Belak - 136 fights since 1996-1997 (9 per year includes AHL, Juniors); 549gp, 8g, 25a career (NHL only)
Rypien - 97 fights since 2002-2003 (11 per year includes AHL, Juniors); 119gp 9g, 7a career (NHL only)
Boogaard - 184 fights since 1999-2000 (15 per year includes AHL, Juniors); 277gp, 3g, 13a career (NHL only)

Let's make one thing clear though, the deaths of these players cannot directly be related to fighting. Rypien had a history of mental illness, I have no idea if Boogaard was taking painkillers for fight induced injuries or just the immense wear and tear hockey puts on ones body, and Belak's cause of death isn't even confirmed at this point.

But there's another thing that should be clear. These guys were on the ice for one reason and one reason only, to drop the gloves and get hit in the head while hitting someone else in the head. Regardless of whether or not that played a part in the deaths of the three enforcers, science has shown that such things take a devastating toll on the brain.

With those effects (rightly or not) so clearly laid out for us with the deaths of Boogaard, Rypien, and Belak, the call to ban fighting is once again gaining strength. After all, this isn't guys that suffered illegal hits, it's guys that engaged in a penalized, but widely accepted activity. The problem with attempting to ban fighting is that hockey is a physical, emotional sport. There are going to be scrums and fights regardless of how steep the penalty is. And that problem is magnified by the fact that the NHL's disciplnary system is so severely broken. Because let's be honest, this was 100% justified. Someone needed to make Matt Cooke answer for his consistently dirty actions because the NHL refused to:

So the question becomes where to draw the line? In a perfect world, the NHL would suspend for dirty hits, and fighting would be largely unnecessary because dirty play would be meted out. The instigator rule would (presumably) actually do what it's supposed to and take away a lot of the obnoxious staged fights that occur. But we're so far from that hockey utopia it isn't even funny.

My goal would be to eliminate the enforcer role through other measures, and I would do that by instituting a "maximum fights per year" rule. After five fights in a season (including pre- and post-season), a player is suspended until the beginning of the next season. And because that opens the doors to guys gooning up on each other towards the end of the season, I would also institute a rule that says if a player fights in his team's last game of the season (again be it regular season or playoffs), then he's missing the first five games of the following season. We'll call that one the Milan Lucic Rule.

It won't take the enforcer role completely out of hockey, but it will force them to focus more on the actual hockey than the fisticuffs which I think is the issue at hand. And more importantly it will help save their heads.

Sports: The Fuck You Moment

2011-08-31T16:42:00.000-04:00

Respect is a term that's thrown around a lot in sports, especially if you stick a mic in front of a player or coach before a game. All they'll talk about in regards to their opponent is how good their opponent is and how much they respect them. You never want to give a guy or a team bulletin board material via some stupid comment as motivation. On the ice/field/diamond/court though? Fuck respect.

Of course you always want to be aware of your opponent's skills, what they can do and what they're going to try to do, but I don't consider that respect so much as I consider it good situational awareness. I think by and large, respect during a game is a bad thing. It leads to giving your opponent too much space, too much time, leads to pitching around them, and through those things it often leads to losses.

I played hockey that way for two years. In 2009 I started playing inline, my first experience playing any hockey of any kind. With my rawness came a bit of trepidation and hesitance, I knew that I lacked the intelligence and experience (and a lot of the skills) that most everyone around me had through years of playing the game, whether it was on ice, tile, or pavement. I did okay for those two years putting in 4 goals and 17 assists in 17 games, and 6 goals and 19 assists in 15 games (including playoffs), but my game didn't hit that next level until I stopped respecting the players around me so damn much.

As my point totals would suggest, I was definitely a pass-first type of player balking at chances to shoot and stickhandle in favor of dumping the puck to a more experienced teammate. But I slowly began to realize two things; one that my unique combination of strength and small stature (5'10", 140 pounds) made me fast and agile without giving up any of the reach that smaller players do; and that passing the puck was not at all utilizing those skills.

That was my big "fuck you moment" when I looked at the other players on the ice and realized, "I'm faster than you, I can turn quicker, and I can sure as hell work harder...fuck you. Less passing, more shooting and dangling. No space to maneuver? I'll make my own fucking space." Instead of looking up, seeing a defenseman and looking for a place to drop the puck, I'd look up and wonder how I could make that guy look like an idiot. The second I started treating myself like one of the best players on the tile was the second my game took off. I scored a bunch of goals skating one on four with teammates changing because I knew I could start and stop so much faster than everyone else that they couldn't touch me. I'd hold onto the puck longer because I knew the other team would get pissed off and come after me, leaving teammates wide open. I killed large chunks of penalties just skating around with the puck because no one was good enough to take it from me. It showed in my points as I more than doubled my previous combined goal totals with 21 goals and 28 assists in 17 games.

And the best part is, it made me cocky enough to carry that mentality into the fall session when I'd be mixed in with A and B league players (I played C-league). I remember cutting hard to the net and scoring one game despite the blade of a stick wrapped around my torso. I thought to myself, "what the hell was he doing...he's an A player, he doesn't need to play defense like that...wait...he can't stop me either." That's what makes Vanek's game winner against Philly so mesmerizing, he looked up and said, "fuck you, you guys suck and I don't."

Why I Don't Really Play Video Games Anymore OR The Problem With Modern Gaming

2011-08-31T05:42:00.000-04:00

I'll come up with five or so games that I've played fairly recently:

Star Trek: Starfleet Command II - 2000
Star Trek: Starfleet Command III - 2002
Diable II: Lord of Destruction - 2001
The Killing Floor - 2009
Bioshock- 2007

And the newest of those is actually a mod of a game that was made in 2004 (Unreal Tournament). In this entry, I'll illustrate why, and (hopefully) at the same time point out what's wrong with modern gaming.

1). I Don't Have the Money OR Fuck $60 Games and Subscription Fees.

I remember when new games were only $30. Now they're double that and they offer you even less. (Fuck I feel old saying that.) I also remember when MMORPGs didn't force you to pay exorbitant subscription fees, or when single player games didn't mandate a constant internet connection to track achievements (more on them later). I also remember when games had replay value, which is why I have 65 hours into TKF and probably around 20,000 (conservative estimate) into Diablo II and haven't touched Bioshock (admittedly a great game) in a year.

2). I Suck at Games OR Learning Curves are Too Steep

Console games lost me when they introduced two joysticks. At that point it just became easier to just go outside and find substitutes for sports and FPS games. (Or break out the N64.) The whole point of gaming for a lot of people is because they're too shitty at those things in real life. Now consoles want to introduce an insane amount of commands and combos that is a hundred times harder than building muscle memory playing a sport. What the hell?

3). I Don't Have the Time or Attention Span Anymore

This one's just personal. I don't have the desire to put in the effort to level a MMORPG character or to continually play a shooter so I can match up with the rich twelve year olds that can play all day every day. The great thing about the games I play is that missions are short and I can generally save whenever I want or quit in the middle of something without feeling like I just destroyed a major operation.

4). Games Gave Enough Options So That Most Players Could Find Something They Were Good At

I hope hardcore X-Box enthusiasts know that Halo basically neutered FPS gaming in way oversimplifying the weaponry. Perfect Dark (64) has close to 100 weapons. Even if you suck at video games you can probably find something that suits you well. The first Halo game had about ten and they were the most watered down options, assault rifle, pistol, rocket launcher, shotgun, sniper rifle, and a few alien weapons of no creativity. It's like playing a Mario Kart game where all you can use is green shells. Is it too much to ask for some proximity mines?

5). Over Emphasis on Graphics

This one's kind of obvious and you can gripe about it to some degree with every game since the very first Nintendo. I get that developers want to show off how real they can make things look, but there's a reason no subsequent Bond game has been able to touch Goldeneye. Gameplay matters.

Gaming and Nerdiness

2011-08-31T04:58:00.000-04:00

This is a conversation topic that's been making the rounds through me and my friends as of late: are video games still inherently nerdy? If no, are certain types of games still nerdy? Is gaming more mainstream nowadays or does it just seem more mainstream?

The inspiration for the topic was a tweet by a celebrity that I follow (okay, a porn star) that was to the effect of "playing COD, tee hee, I'm so nerdy." My internal response was swift and angry.

NO YOU'RE NOT!

My general thoughts on the topic are that I'm sick of these FPS (first person shooter) and Madden players staking a claim to something they (as meatheads and jocks) have always ridiculed others for. (And yes that is only an indictment on FPS and Madden players that typify those qualities. Calm the fuck down FPS and Madden playing friends) My girlfriend had a similar, albeit more concise and cutting response, "nerds are supposed to be smart and most gamers I know are fucking idiots who can't do anything for themselves." Touche girlfriend.

Another friend of mine posited that certain games still retain nerdy qualities, most notably MMORPGs (massive multiplayer online role playing games). But at the same time, everybody plays World of Warcraft. Or that's what their commercials would have you believe, a crafty campaign to remove the stigma of playing such games by highlighting celebrities that (may or may not) play them.

I have conflicting feelings about what I want the truth to be. On one hand, there's a desire for vindication, for being a little less of a minority, and on the other there's a desire to retain some uniqueness by being a part of such a group. I think I can fall in line with the former considering that of the last four games I've played, two of them are Star Trek games made pre-2002, one is a Blizzard game made in 2000 and updated in 2001, and the other is a FPS mod that no one's ever heard of. I'm going to end up being a nerd either way.

It has it's perks.

Depending on how weak your definition of a computer game is (cough*farmville*cough), it's pretty fair to say that virtually everyone can be considered a "gamer" these days. It's become about as nerdy as regular internet use is. As a former Starcraft Junkie, semi current Diablo II junkie, lover of Star Trek games and someone who was once ranked in the top 100 in the country (and top 400 in the world) at Mario Kart Double Dash, I have my fair share of experience with video games. Even though they've fallen out of favor with me (another entry entirely), I still consider myself a bit of a gamer and a nerd at heart. That's enough for me.

Arnett Tanner Wants to Die: Now Available for Kindle

2011-08-29T22:29:00.001-04:00

Here

30 Day Book Challenge in One Day Because Fuck You

2011-08-29T03:38:00.000-04:00

I like these 30 day challenge things because I like talking about myself...which is kind of the entire point of this blog.

1 - Your Favorite Book
This is a tough one because there are scores of good books and I try not to think in absolutes. I rather liked Sphere by Michael Crichton a lot, as well as the Harry Potter series.

2 - Your Least Favorite Book
One I haven't read. Who reads books they don't like? Oh wait...high schoolers. I thought A Tale of Two Cities royally sucked. Fuck tenth grade.

3 - A Book That Surprised You
I'll go with a genre. A lot of comedians' biographies and autobiographies are really boring.

4 - A Book That Reminds You of Home
No Idea

5 - A Non-Fiction Book You Enjoyed
This isn't hard since I read non-fiction all the time. My Life in Baseball by Ty Cobb, and William Shatner's autobiography are great.

6 - A Book That Makes You Cry
I don't often cry at books which probably comes from being a writer and being steeped in tragedy so often. Stone Fox made me cry when I was a kid.

7 - A Book That's Hard to Read
I mentioned A Tale of Two Cities?

8 - An Unpopular Book You Believe Should Be A Best Seller
All of mine. Hey if Stephenie Meyer can do it...

9 - A Book You've Read More than Once
All the Harry Potter Novels, Sphere, Congo, and All of Mine.

10 - The First Novel You Remember Reading
Probably Goosebumps books as a kid. Are those novels?

11 - The Book that Made You Fall in Love With Reading
That's a tough one, I don't know that there is one. Lolita, by Vladimir Nabokov, which I'm reading now, makes me fall in love with writing repeatedly. I can see why it's considered to be one of the greatest works of all time.

12 - A book so emotionally draining you couldn't complete it, or had to set it aside for a moment.
All the books I read in school that bored me to tears.

13 - Favorite Childhood Book
Either From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler by E. L. Konigsburg or My Side of the Mountain by Jean Craighead George. Both are about running away and hiding out, the former in the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and the latter in the Catskill mountains. Both are enchanting.

14 - Book that should be on HS/College Required Reading Lists
Anything that's ever been banned at one point. The Catcher in the Rye, 1984, Fahrenheit 451, and a few by Truman Capote come to mind.

15 - Favorite Book Dealing with Foriegn Culture
Do Star Trek books count?

16 - Favorite Book-Turned-Movie
While I like the Harry Potter series better, I feel the movie adaptations of The Lord of the Rings trilogy were better done.

17 - Book-Turned-Movie that was Completely Desecrated
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Yuck.

18 - A Book You Can't Find on Shelves Anymore that You Love
All Star Trek Books.

19 - A Book that Changed Your Mind About a Particular Subject
Gene Roddenberry's biography. What an asshat.

20 - A Book You Would Recommend to an Ignorant/Racist/Close-Minded Person
Any book I can beat them with.

21 - A Guilty Pleasure Book
Star Trek Books for sure. Some of them aren't so well written, but they're entertaining.

22 - Favorite Series
Going with Star Trek again.

23 - Favorite Romance Novel
Skankarella, my own.

24 - A Book You Later Found Out the Author Lied About
Wtf? How the hell would I know?

25 - Favorite Autobiographical/Biographical Book
William Shatner's Autobiography

26 - A Book You Wish Would Be Written
It was Kissing Ellen King, one of my own. Never thought I'd start it, let alone finish.

27 - A Book You Would Write if You Had the Resources
Don't care if I have them or not, I'm writing Taro Says.

28 - A Book You Wish You'd Never Read
A Tale of Two Cities. Fuck you Charles.

29 - An Author You Won't Read
Hellooooo Stephenie...

30 - An Author You Will Read Whatever they Put Out
William Shatner and his (Star Trek novel) ghost writers, the Reeves-Stevenses

How I Imagine My Characters' Appearances

2011-08-29T01:39:00.000-04:00

I figured, between working on different projects, I'd go through the big three that I have published at the moment (The Chosen, Skankarella, and Arnett Tanner Wants to Die) and give visuals for each of the major characters within. This isn't so much about what actors would play them as it is simply about how they look physically (even if my wording might suggest otherwise).

Jason Behr as Ender (The Chosen)

It's no secret that Ender shares a lot of my own characteristics, so the ideal part is someone fairly tall, dark haired, wiry, and of course pale. Behr is probably a little old now, his Roswell days long behind him, but he fits the bill better than some of today's other young actors (notably Daniel Radcliffe and Shia Labeouf).

Enver Gjokaj as Evander (The Chosen)

Though Gjokaj might also be a bit too old, I think with long hair the Dollhouse star would fit the bill perfectly.

This Girl (who is of age) as Ellie (The Chosen)

No name for this one, but when I started thinking up the physical description of Ellie, I thought of this photo from a relatively viral set online.

Christopher Lee as Jareth (The Chosen)

I have Jareth coming in a bit younger than Lee, with an appearance in his forties, but it's hard not to imagine Lee when you've got an old cruel villain.

Patton Oswalt as Benedict (The Chosen)

Big, check. Ugly, check. Capable of being despicable? Who knows, but Oswalt certainly looks the part of the rotund Benedict.

Tobin Bell as John Rider (The Chosen)

Tobin Bell is terrifying.

Krysta Kaos as Wraith (The Chosen)

The diminutive adult film star with black hair (instead of her trademark blue) fits perfectly.

Shirley Phelps Roper as Shirley Roper (Skankarella)

You all saw that coming, right?

Emilie de Ravin as (both) the 'Ugly' Stepsisters

She has the wonderful gift of looking both beautiful and malicious. I wanted the stepsisters to be physically attractive, in part to show that actual beauty is found within.

Ellen Page as Madison Roper (Skankarella)

Though a few of her measurements might come up short, I can think of no one better to play the butchy femme Skankarella.

Kacey Bellamy as Julia Prince (Skankarella)

Who better to play the athletic Julia Prince than an actual athlete?

Daniel Franzese as Fagan Teresa (Skankarella)

Mean Girls was definitely on my mind when I wrote Fagan's character.

Mark McGuinn as Arnett Tanner (Arnett Tanner Wants to Die)

When I wrote Tanner's character, McGuinn's beatnik-y look was the direct inspiration.

Courtney Yates as Havoc Bentley (Arnett Tanner)

Gorgeous, uncomfortably thin, a little insane, no personal filter. Courtney Yates is the direct inspiration for Havoc Bentley.

Adam Baldwin as Lars Hanson (Arnett Tanner)

When I need a big tough guy with a bit of a complexity to him, I think of Adam Baldwin.

Norbert Ackermann as Abraham Ackermann (Arnett Tanner)

Ackermann is based on one of my college professors, specifically, this one.

Jim Broadbent as Ange Sanderson (Arnett Tanner)

Just add a well groomed beard.

Jason Alexander as William Hudson (Arnett Tanner)

Short, bald, sniveling, I think Jason Alexander would do just fine. Wallace Shawn would also work well.

Arnett Tanner Wants to Die Available for Purchase

2011-08-28T18:50:00.002-04:00

Cover Art by Jeff Wozniak.

See more of Jeff's work at ArtistZero.com

Short Description:

In a world where death has been technologically and legally abolished and life is infinite, Arnett Tanner seeks an end to his existence.

Extended Description:

Medical and data storage technology have advanced to the point where people's consciousnesses can be downloaded and reintegrated into a new body after physical death, thus making immortality a reality. The United States government has gone one step further and mandated this immortality, requiring each citizen to regularly create personality backups in the event that they unexpectedly perish.

Arnett Tanner is an extremely intelligent man, and infamous for having performed the most suicides. He seeks an end to what he considers to be an unyielding torment in the continued mediocrity and monotony of never-ending life. He has become bored with the world, and is convinced that it tires of him as well.

Standing opposite Tanner is Lars Hanson, his Suicide Watch Officer who has been tasked with reconstructing the mental health of his patient. Lately his job description has degraded to keeping Tanner from trying to kill himself by any means necessary.

At his wits' end and under pressure from his superiors at the Death Watch Agency, Lars enrolls Tanner in an archaic and controversial form of therapy hoping that the trek into the past will appeal to Tanner's desire for an earlier time and succeed where the DWA's drug program could not.

As the eccentric therapist wades into Tanner's mind, pushing him towards certain conclusions the suicide cases begins to suspect that his SWO may have had ulterior motives for enrolling him in the sessions.

Smashwords

Kindle (Link coming shortly)

The Upsets that Never Were of the Last 20 Years

2011-08-25T18:03:00.001-04:00

People have such a boner for upsets in sports, I figured I'd do something a little different. And no this won't be some sort of "lost rings" bullshit about teams that should have won championships and didn't. This will be about teams that came this close in games or series in which they had no business competing. It will be about heavy favorites that came this close to pissing away what should have been an easy win.

#11). 2001 World Series

Arizona Diamondbacks defeat New York Yankees 4 games to 3, outscoring them 37-14 in the process.

This was the last World Series I watched in full, mostly because I refused to watch another game until someone nuked the Yankees off the face of the planet. They're like that douchebag coworker you might like if you only had to deal with them once in a while instead of all the fucking time. The Yankees were clearly the inferior team in this series, evidenced by the fact that the Diamondbacks beat the ever loving shit out of them at home. And you can't cop out and say the D-backs were only superior when they had Johnson or Schilling on the mound when the Yankees scored a max of 4 runs in a game all series. I'm glad Mike Mussina got shelled in Game 1. Eat a dick you sellout.

It's #11 because I think that it actually was an upset according to Vegas, but I'm too lazy to look it up.

#10). 2007 Super Bowl

Indianapolis Colts Defeat Chicago Bears 29-17

I don't think any sane person expected Rex Grossman to win a super bowl on a lucky team with an easy schedule, but IT ALMOST FUCKING HAPPENED! For one quarter anyways. Thanks to Devin Hester and a Peyton Manning interception, the Bears exited the first frame with a 14-6 lead. And then everyone in the building remembered that the Bears' quarterback was Rex Grossman and it played out pretty predictably from there on out.

It's #10 because no one ever thought the Colts would actually piss away a Super Bowl to Rex Fucking Grossman.

#9). 1997 Super Bowl

Green Bay Packers Defeat New England Patriots 35-21

The Packers were favored by 14 heading into this game, but found themselves down early 14-10 to the Patriots, and later holding onto a slim 27-21 lead until Desmond Howard (another DH return man, what the fuck?) put the team on his back and returned the ensuing kickoff 99 yards for a fuck you fatass Parcells...er...touchdown. I remember watching this game and hating the Packers because they'd beaten my then beloved 49ers earlier in the playoffs. When everyone loved Brett Favre, I fucking hated him. Who was right all along?

It's #9 because winning by two touchdowns isn't exactly a close game.

#8). 1999 Stanley Cup Finals

Dallas Stars Defeat Buffalo Sabres 4 games to 2 (13g-9g)

An absolutely stacked team with two of the greatest forwards (Hull and Modano) and two top tier defensemen (Zubov and Sydor) needed a wonky goal in triple overtime to beat a team that was Dominik Hasek and a bunch of guys. Dallas rolled through the west, picking up the top seed. Buffalo was the 7th seed and had Dominik Hasek. Dallas had Modano's 81 pts in 77 games and Hulls 32 goals in 60 games, not to mention Zubov's and Sydor's 51 and 48 points respectively. Buffalo had Satan's 66 points, Peca's 56, and was led on defense by Jason Wolley and Alexei Zhitnik...and Dominik Hasek. Yeah...

It's #8 because we'll never know what would have happened if overtime continued.

#7). 2004 Stanley Cup Finals

Tampa Bay Lightning Defeat Calgary Flames 4 games to 3 (13g to 14g)

Tampa Bay, the east's top seed found themselves staring down elimination in game six to the sixth seeded Calgary Flames. It took a double overtime victory in that game just to extend the series and a one goal victory in game seven to clinch. This game might have been rated higher if the Flames weren't a pretty good team in their own right. They only finished twelve points below Tampa Bay playing in a brutal Northwest Division while Tampa Bay got to fuck their way through the NHL's sped division all year. The teams were more evenly matched than their records indicated.

It's #7 because of what I just fucking said.

#6). 2004 Super Bowl

New England Patriots Defeat Carolina Panthers 32-29

Look, the Panthers were a good team in their own right, but the Patriots were a dynasty. Plus they blew a 21-10 lead in the fourth quarter actually falling behind 22-21 at one point. The Patriots might not have even been able to get off their last second field goal had Carolina kicker John Kasay not kicked the final kickoff out of bounds, setting the Patriots up on their own 40. Luckily the Patriots would delight us all by actually blowing a game as a heavy favorite four years later.

It's #6 because I think the Vegas line was only 4 points or something.

#5). 2006 Stanley Cup

~~Buffalo Sabres~~ Carolina Hurricanes Defeat Edmonton Oilers 4 games to 3 (19g-16g)

Where do I even begin with this one? For starters, Edmonton was resigned to using their backup goalie for almost the entire series, a move that almost certainly cost them game one. Carolina took a 2-0 series lead with a dominant shutout of Edmonton at home in game two only to blow that (and a 3-1 series lead) by returning the favor in a 4-0 loss in Edmonton in game 6. Plus Carolina was a two seed and Edmonton was an eight seed. You might think this is the very definition of my whole premise here, a vastly superior team nearly shitting the bed, but...

It's #5 because the above proves that Carolina was never that good to begin with.

#4). 2003 Stanley Cup

New Jersey Devils Defeat Anaheim Ducks 4 games to 3 (19g-12g)

Ahh, another juggernaut dynasty playing piss away the championship to an upstart team barely past the expansion phase. It never gets old, does it? All the usual suspects are there; the Devils were the east's second seed, the Ducks the west's seventh. New Jersey was in their prime, and the Ducks were still in mid-adolescence. What makes this series really interesting is that the Devils took a 2-0 series lead without letting Anaheim score a goal and then promptly forgot how to play hockey or something. Even more interesting, in Carolina fashion, they completed a dominant performance to take a 3-2 series lead in game five, only to get their asses handed to them in game six.

It's # 4 because I didn't actually watch it, and J.S. Giguere played really well.

#3). 2000 Super Bowl

St. Louis Rams Defeat Tennessee Titans 23-16

Look, the Titans put together an awesome record, but they also needed an illegal play to defeat Rob Fucking Johnson in their wild card game. Yes, the Titans had a good defense, and yes they were basically playing a home game in the nearby Georgia Dome...but the Rams were The Greatest Show on Turf...playing on Turf! How the hell did they let the Titans get within one yard of the first Super Bowl to go to overtime?

It's #3 because the Rams were The Greatest Show on Fucking Turf.

#2). 1994 Stanley Cup Finals

New York Rangers Defeat Vancouver Canucks 4 games to 3 (21g-19g)

Enter the New York Rangers, led by Mark Messier, the East's top seed and the winner of the tough Atlantic Division. Enter the Vancouver Canucks, led by Pavel Bure, the West's seventh seed and the second place finisher in the shitty Pacific Division which featured the 3rd, 4th, and 5th worst teams in the league. After dropping game one, the Rangers take a 3-1 series lead, winning games two, three, and four by a combined 8 goals. They'd so thoroughly creamed the Canucks, that they'd set a date for their victory parade. Then the Canucks won games five and six by three goals apiece to bring the series to a game seven. And what's more, the overrated Mark Messier and the New York Rangers were so fearful of losing, Adam Graves went out to goon Vancouver captain Trevor Linden in game six. (Which almost backfired spectacularly as Linden nearly single-handedly Kariya-ed the Rangers in game seven.) Only the 2006 Hurricanes might be more pathetic Stanley Cup Champions.

It's #2 because I still have difficulty wrapping my mind around #1.

#1). 2009 Super Bowl

Pittsburgh Steelers Defeat Arizona Cardinals 27-23

The 2008-2009 Arizona Cardinals were fucking terrible. They went 9-7 in the regular season, winning six of those games against their joke of a division who was a combined 13-35. They suffered blowout losses to the Jets (21 pts), Eagles (28 pts), Vikings (21 pts), and Patriots (40 pts) and won one game against a playoff team that had no business being a playoff team (Miami) and to top it all off, only scored one more point than they gave up. They then proceeded to win three playoff games on Matt Ryan's inexperience, Jake Delhomme's inebriation, and Donovan McNabb's complete and utter inability to even form coherent sentences after the two minute warning.

While the Steelers weren't exactly a juggernaut, they won a better division that actually contained another playoff team (Baltimore) and compiled a 12-4 record in the process. They then defeated two of the next three best teams in the AFC in San Diego and Baltimore to advance to the Super Bowl.

Then, in typical Steeler fashion they proceeded to play like they were the 9-7 joke of a team...and win anyways. While the Steelers' awful performance can't hold a candle to Super Bowl XL, a game that no one still has any idea how they won, it was pretty awful. The Cardinals outstripped them in virtually every statistical category. Were it not for fatass crybaby James Harrison returning a pass that would've put the Cardinals up 14-10 at the half that instead swung the score to 17-7 in the Steelers' favor, the Cardinals might have walked out of Florida with a blowout victory (or at least a 30-20 victory).

The Steelers completely crapping the bed as a team that was so vastly superior to the Cardinals it was ridiculous easily deserves the number one ranking here. You can tell how much of a shitstorm the game was by the MVP choice, when voters said, "fuck we have no idea, give it to a wide receiver."

I shouldn't complain too much though, I won $75 off the game.

It's #1 because I said so.

Ozzy Lusth and Coach Wade Returning to Survivor

2011-08-23T21:12:00.000-04:00

Rumors are all over the internet, originating from the Survivor Sucks site that the two returning castaways for the upcoming season of Survivor are Benjamin 'Coach' Wade, and Ozzy Lusth. On one hand, I'm a little sick of returning players, but on the other, Nicaragua sucked so god damned bad, I can see why the producers want to hedge their bets with people they know will make for good TV.

Coach is and always has been entertaining so it will be a joy (albeit a cheap one) to watch him make an ass of himself for the third time.

I think Ozzy is an asshole. Ironically in a season where the underlying theme was diversity and acceptance, Ozzy played the part of the stereotypical jock, bullying dorky fat kid Billy constantly and spearheading a campaign to throw a challenge so that his tribe could vote him out. Being one of the most popular contestants ever, he's a perfect example of how good looking people and athletes get a free pass from society to act like pieces of shit. I wouldn't be disappointed to see Russell Hantz style tears and an early exit from the asshole of assholes, but he's probably too good at challenges for that to happen.

A Thing About Happiness

2011-08-23T05:52:00.000-04:00

Recently there was a Cracked.com article about our flawed perceptions of happiness. The gist of it is that happiness is so poorly defined we're often aspiring towards something we have a very poor definition of (that may not even exist anyways). I think we envision happiness with too many absolutes, one of those being our "happiest day of our lives."

There's supposed to be some magical moment that elevates one day above the rest, but those are so few and far between. Mostly, I think the best days are the ones that exceed expectations in an endearing way. The majority of us don't win the lottery or have a threesome with supermodels. Plus the things that do inspire those feelings in us are not so concentrated into a single day. Typically there's a long period of time where things are going fairly well. It's better, but it's less apparent.

If you asked me a year ago to pick out my best day, there were two in particular that I'd chose from; one a day at the beach with my then-girlfriend, the longest time we'd ever gotten to spend with each other, and the other my first party in the plaza in Buffalo for game one of the Boston series.

The former was great because it actually managed to live up to my (very high) expectations and the latter was great because it emphatically crushed the lingering doubts that driving to Buffalo (two nights before having to drive back again) was a bad idea. I didn't win a ton of money or fuck a model, or anything like that, they were just idyllic nights spent with good people.

But like I said, one of those would have been my nest day a year ago, but not now. If you asked me now what my best day was, I would say with certainty the full day I spent amid two partial days visiting my girlfriend in New Jersey. It had all the makings of something wonderful right from the very beginning.

I always liked traveling, even by myself, so the drive through parts of Pennsylvania that I'd never seen to a state I'd never been was a definite allure to the trip. My travels south were wrought with rolling hills and gorgeous countryside and I found the small New Jersey towns to be endlessly amusing.

Having been in a long distance relationship before, I'm no stranger to the rush when you see your partner for the first time after a long absence. Still that didn't do anything to take away the happiness at seeing my girlfriend for the first time in over a month, especially with her ability to be unwittingly cute.

When I met my previous girlfriend's parents, I was 19 and she was 15. I'd known them for years, but there was a definite fear heading over to pick her up for our first date thinking, "these people know that I am going ot eventually defile their daughter." Nerve-wracking to say the lease. This time I headed into the confrontation with half the parental unit with confidence...how could her mother not like me? I'm me.

The real draw to the whole experience for me (aside from spending time with my girlfriend) was the camping. I'd only ever spent one night in a tent, and while that much suggest a certain softness, I can rough it with the best of them. I was looking forward to leaving the phone and the laptop largely untouched during my stay there.

Even though there were numerous other riders around, not to mention her family, there was a certain seclusion to the trip that I found really appealing. I've never been one prone to a lot of human contact, and carving out a bubble in which we could exist was undeniably special.

What was also special was getting a front row seat to the festivities themselves. I'd never seen mounted games before and I'd carried a general disdain for anything involving horses because of my obsessed sister whose shows are as boring as you can make an animal five times your size that could easily kill you if it wanted. So I was afraid I was going to be hopelessly bored. Instead I was impossibly entertained. If there are two aspects to anything that I consistently enjoy, they're complexities, and a healthy dose of numbers. Tracking the standings for each team after each game gave me both in spades.

There are a lot of things that made that one weekend special without one specific moment. Happiness, I think, is a state of being, not a flash moment. There is much that contributes to it, exploration, comfort, entertainment, and contentment. It's not something that you can obtain through any sort of exchange, it's like a personal project, something you slowly build towards without any objective of completion in mind.

Grading the NHL Soccer Kits: Central Division

2011-08-23T00:13:00.000-04:00

I'm going to grade the NHL's soccer kits that were recently featured on Puck Daddy and drawn by this guy. I'll try to be nice, and fair and not do things like penalize teams I hate, or blame the designer for having to work with teams that have shitty logos or colors or both. I'll be grading the overall design of the home and away and the use of the team's colors, not the quality of the colors themselves. Oh yeah, and I'll be going division by division since I'm too lazy to do this all at once. Everything is out of 5. And I liked most of them, so they all scored pretty high.

Home Design -4
Home Colors - 5
Away Design - 5
Away Colors - 5
Total - 19

Notes: The only thing I don't like about the home jersey is that the arena logo is a little hard to read. Otherwise they did a real nice job of incorporating stripes without looking hideous. Making a jersey with red, white, and black seems like cheating though. So easy.

Home Design - 4
Home Colors - 4
Away Design - 4
Away colors - 5
Total - 17

Notes: The use of two ones of blue on the home turned me off a lot as did those weird torso stripes. The away looks pretty sharp, but I'm not sure the excessive use of yellow works too well with that much white.

Home Design - 4
Home Colors - 3
Away Design - 4
Away Colors - 5
Total - 16

Notes: Nashville almost looked really nice. I like yellow jerseys, but the home straddles the fence too much for me. Either go all out hideous yellow, or break it up a lot with other colors. They did neither. Would've given the away a perfect score if Bridgestone was easier to read.

Home Design - 3
Home Colors - 3
Away Design - 3
Away Colors - 3
Total - 12

Notes: What do you want, it's boring.

Home Design - 3
Home Colors - 4
Away Design -Oh My God
Away Colors - What the fuck?
Total - ???

Notes: The more I look at it, the more the away jersey is perfect for Columbus. Like every logo they've ever had, it has WAY THE HELL too much going on. I feel like Forrest Gump...why is your shirt a flag?

Live Reactions to "Leading With Lovem" A Film About Parents' Reactions to their Kids' Coming Out

2011-08-22T06:26:00.000-04:00

The Movie is only 35 minutes and is well worth a watch.

Spoilers everywhere below:

This is mainly for parents to deal with a child that recently came out so it's not really applicable to me.

"My child is a minority now, she's going to be discriminated against in this world." - Tearful mother of a lesbian.

It has to be tough to stand in front of your family and tell them you're gay. I could never do that.

Wow this kid did it in front of his entire family, not just his immediate family.

"As soon as he said it, I felt relief." - Proud Dad that always knew what was going on.

Some of these parents are pretty honest in saying how shocked/disappointed they were at first. I like that.

This father knew his son might be gay when he was a toddler. Wow.

"Unfortunately all most parents know about being LGBT is the misinformation that's being spread." Fuck you religious groups and conservatives.

"When you think of a gay person, you go straight to the sexual." Very true I think.

This has a bit of a high school health video amateurishness to it, but it's not awful.

The Methodists are apparently very pro-LGBT. Go Methodists.

This girl has an awesome sense of style. Guess that works for lesbians too.

"When I realized either my son was going to be gay or my son was going to be dead, it just clicked."

"My mom didn't want anyone else to know." Ouch.

And now the home videos. Not a bad watch.

Grading the NHL Soccer Kits: Southeast Division

2011-08-21T16:32:00.000-04:00

Home Design - 5
Home Colors - 5
Away Design - 4
Away Colors - 5
Total - 19

Notes: I like the Capitals unis a lot. To me they look more like a traditional soccer jersey than any of the others. Just not a huge fan of the boob stripes on the away.

Home Design - 4
Home Colors - 5
Away Design - 4
Away Colors - 4
Total - 17

Notes: Carolina gets a lot of help from the fact that their arena logo looks really awesome. It's a shame all of their team logos look really stupid. While the square flag design looks good, one flag still signals a tropical storm, not a Hurricane. Fail.

Home Design - 4
Home Colors - 4
Away Design - 5
Away Colors - 3
Total - 16

Notes: It's really unfair that Florida's colors are kind of a mess. The red, yellow, and blue has never looked good, and the blue and blue looks like a blatant ripoff of several other teams. The Panthers' jerseys end up looking more like golf shirts than anything, which I suppose is fitting since that's all their team and their fanbase does.

Home Design - 4
Home Colors - 4
Away Design - 3
Away Colors - 4
Total - 15

Notes: Tampa Bay doesn't really give a whole lot to work with. I think the boring switch to fewer colors was a bad move and it shows in this kit. The away jersey actually does okay with the stripes, but still looks kind of stupid to me. At least the St. Pete Times text is cool.

Home Design - 3
Home Colors - 4
Away Design - 2
Away Colors - 3
Total - 12

Notes: The home jersey is okay I guess, if a little boring. Like Tampa Bay, I don't hate the stripes, but I don't like them either. The away jersey just looks like a Pepsi can. With the prominence of the maple leaf in all the Jets' logos, the designer couldn't do a giant layered full torso-ed maple leaf? That could have looked awesome.

Thoughts on Jason Pominville

2011-08-19T17:30:00.000-04:00

After he scored his famous goal in 2006, Pominville was one of my favorite players. Then my opinion of him quickly deteriorated into nothing for no real good reason. I think a part of that is the fact that not only is he utterly boring as an interview, he tends to be utterly boring as a player as well.

Pominville has so many nights where he looks like he doesn't even care. Then you go back and look at the statsheet to find that he had two points on the night, one of which was a go-ahead goal. The guy piles up points in the most unspectacular manner, again aside from a certain goal in 2006. I'll be the first to agree with many others that $5.3M per year seems like a lot for him, but let's look at the facts over his last five seasons:

Low of 20g (08-09), high of 34g (06-07)
Low of 30a (10-11), high of 53a (07-08)
Has played in 401/410 possible games (97%)
Logs time on top PK unit
Logs time on top PP unit

When you put all that together, he's probably worth $5.3M.