Monday, November 14, 2011

The Worst Non-Injury of My Career

I was playing ice hockey last night, forward covering the point. The puck came back and I got in position to block the shot, hoping to deflect it ahead and get a break. I did just that...the problem was what I blocked the shot with.

The defenseman's slapper hit me square in the cup, which unfortunately had gotten dislodged. It happened to press the edge up against my dick like a foam covered knife. Not one to pass up a breakaway I skated after the puck but was eventually foiled. It was then that the adrenaline started to wear off and my junk started to hurt. It literally felt like the tip had been chopped off. I coasted to the bench, crumpling over the boards and tore off my gloves. I expected to see blood when I opened my pants, but thankfully there was none. Five minutes later it stopped hurting and I went on for another shift still whole-dicked.

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