Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Driving Pet Peeves

Since I go to Buffalo and/or Rochester 2-3 times a month and have a 40 minute commute to work each morning and evening, I’ve racked up quite a few miles on the road. With that comes quite a few things that moronic drivers do that piss me off. My commute is split pretty evenly between interstate and non-interstate driving so I’ll cover both.

Taking a Calendar Year to Pass Someone at 68 mph/Abusing the Left Hand Lane
The left hand lane is for passing and passing quickly and/or for driving 110 when your wife is in labor or your dad’s having a heart attack. If you can’t use it right you need to get the god damn hell out of the way. If you want to piddle along at 65 mph to save gas, that’s fine. I do it all the time, but there’s a lane for that. Look in your rear view mirror once in a while so you can see if there’s a line of cars behind you that circumnavigates the globe.

Truck Drivers, I know this is unavoidable and there’s only so much speed you can coax out of your rig, but for the love of god choose your spots a little better. Swinging your truck in front of me before I can get by when there is NO ONE IN SIGHT behind me is a total dick move.

This one is truly awful in cities and it happens on a daily basis in Rochester. You’re going along just fine until you meet some congestion. Incensed you continue at 30 mph until you get to the scene of the incident…only to find out that it’s someone with a flat tire that isn’t blocking any lanes or impeding any traffic. But because of the sheer volume and the tendency of drivers to slow down and gawk, things have come to a crawl. This highlights the stupidity of drivers in bright neon pink.

Slowing down to below the speed limit when you see a cop
Not only is this utterly ridiculous, but it’s also incredibly dangerous, especially if said driver doesn’t look in their mirrors before stomping the brakes. Look, the guy is not only stopped on the side of the road, but HE’S NOT EVEN IN HIS SQUAD CAR. He doesn’t give a shit that you’re going 70 in a 65…AND…even if you are going thirty mph over the speed limit, you’ll be long gone before he can do anything about it.

Yes I’m in the left hand lane and I’m not going as fast as you, but I’m still going 78 and I have ONE GODDAMN CAR to pass. I will be out of your way in less than ten seconds. Are you seriously trying to pass me on the right now even though I already have my signal on showing I’m getting out of your way? You fucking asshole.

Not Using a Turn Signal to Change Lanes
This one absolutely terrifies me because people will wing their vehicles from lane to lane like they’re driving go-karts at the fair. I’ve actually physically seen it cause accidents in front of me. It’s even worse when you’re heading by a long line of cars on the right knowing that any one of them could decide “fuck this, I’m passing these tards” at any moment and slam into your passenger door.

City and Back Roads
Not Driving the Speed Limit in Perfect Weather
This one is the worst for me. I drive an hour and twenty minutes total a day, I don’t want to spend five extra minutes sitting behind you dicking around at 40 mph in a 55 because you’re 900 years old. It’s dangerous anyways. If you’re too old to maintain speed either hit a tree before you hit another driver or turn in your license.

Passing to Get to Red Lights Faster
There are a few areas I drive that are long strips of commercial areas with a dozen or so lights. It’s amazing how many assholes will race in front of me and then cut me off only to be sitting in front of me at the next red light. Utterly unnecessary.

Horribly Set Up Traffic Lights
There is so much to fall under this category. First has to be the weight sensor lights that don’t pick up my tiny ass car. Right behind them has to be the lights that are time based and don’t operate on any sensors. Nothing like sitting at a red light with no other cars around. And all municipalities have to do is turn the lights into blinking reds (essentially a stop sign) from 1-4am. Also, while "no-turn-left-on-green lights" are useful in some areas, they’re horribly abused in others. There’s one traffic light by my house that violates all of the above. Fuck that thing.

Doesn’t Understand Yield Sign Guy
This one goes into two categories, the guy that treats it like a stop sign when there’s no one else around and the guy that doesn’t even acknowledge its existence. Both incredibly dangerous.

Souped up Car Guy
Good job, you modded your Honda Civic. Join a racing league instead of showing off in the Wal-Mart parking lot. I wish I could neuter you so you can’t reproduce.

Poorly Maintained Intersections
A lot of you probably don’t live in the country and don’t deal with this as much, but I see it every day. There are a lot of long straight roads with almost no traffic by my house which encourages people to drive like idiots. There are also a lot of intersections with poor visibility because the woods are overgrown or a house has built its garden out to the right of way. I don’t need to highlight the dangers of having to pull halfway into an intersection just to see on a road where people often go 90+ mph, do I?

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