Thursday, June 9, 2011

Tops Never Stops Fucking You More

I hate Tops, the only reason why I go there is that it's three miles away and Wegmans is fifteen.  That's a full gallon of gas.

Tops stocks shit.  And I'm not even talking about their own ugly brands.  No strawberry soda, dozens of individual serving water flavors, but no Strawberry and no Energy.  How the fuck do you not stock strawberry of something?  They have every type of Klondike bar imaginable...except the one Klondike flavor that's any good, pretzel-caramel.  No they have things like raspberry jizz wrapped in their little Klondike turd squares.

They also try to dick you on prices.  One way is using the old electronics store trick of only stocking the most expensive options.  I don't need 85 versions of Campbell's soup with 'chicken' in the name.  How about some non-name brand stuff that costs a dollar less?  Or they'll just flat out charge twenty to forty cents more on the pound for everything than other grocery stores.  Rape is always better when you see it coming the whole way.  Like a bus made out of dicks.

But whatever, I save around four dollars by going to Tops instead of Wegmans and they have these self-checkout machines.  Which would be cool if they took any fucking dimes.  The damn machine rejected six of my dimes before theself-checkout overseer finally just told me to give her my change so I could pay.

It definitely doesn't help either that they're building their own shit-tastic Tops brand gas station in the parking lot less than two hundred feet from not only a Sunoco, but a Hess as well.  It's going to block one of the entrances to the parking lot turning it into a hellish prison lot from which there can be no escape.

I've taken to calling it SGW or Shouldda Gone to Wegmans...because it's true.

1 comment:

  1. At my new(ish) place of employment I learned a little about grocery store economics, and it really explained why Tops is the way it is.

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