Monday, April 4, 2011

Cars: What Your Make/Model Says About You

The following are facts based on personal observation.
Note: JOKE.


Subaru - In spite of the fact that you are in possession of a vehicle with four wheel drive and a decent amount of gross weight, one snowflake or raindrop will send you 20 mph below the speed limit.  Left lane, right lane...you don't care!

Hummer - You are a douchebag and the size of your vehicle is inversely proportional to the size of your reproductive organs.

Chevrolet Cavalier - You are a hot girl but you are either slutty, trashy or both.  You are guaranteed to be using a cell phone while driving.

Cadillac - You remember prohibition.

BMW - You're vain and fairly well off.  You think that driving a beamer makes you better than everyone else.

Pontiac Sunfire/Grand Prix - You're vain and not so well off.  You think driving a Sunfire/Grand Prix makes you look cooler than everyone else.  You probably have obscenely tinted windows.

Prius - You are pretensious and look like it.  No one wears berets anymore dude.

Any Large Truck - You are either over compensating and can't afford a Hummer, or you're a lesbian.  Possibly both.

Any Small Truck - You have a small penis and are comfortable telling the world.

SUV - Let it go already, you stopped being cool once you had kids.  Just get a minivan.

Minivan -You are ten seconds away from snapping and mowing down an entire outlet mall because your damn kid spilled his juice again.

Volkswagen Jetta - You are a hot chick and think you're too good for everyone else.

Volvo - Well la dee da, too good for a BMW are we?

Smart Car - You make the Prius dude look like Larry the Cable Guy.  You are the king of the hipsters.

Any Toyota/Honda - You have no personality.

Any Ford - You are a masochist and love punishment.

Dodge Calibur/Pontiac Aztek/Buick Rendezvous/Any Buick really - You are either blind or have no taste.

Any older Ford/Chevy/Dodge - You are in college and paying for it.

2 comments:

  1. I am, in fact, NOT paying for my car. Yet anyways.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I pretty much agree with everything on here. You should add self righteous to the Subaru driver. Those guys are always going under the speed limit, usually in the left lane.

    ReplyDelete