Wednesday, January 5, 2011

A Criminally Vulgar Year in Review

Even though this blog doesn't turn a year old in February, everyone else is doing something like this, so I thought for once I would cave in and go with the flow instead of being a complete weirdo.  There may be breasts and vaginas and penises.

Will never not be funny

First, a song:

I am the son, and the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar.
I'm the son and heir
Of nothing in particular

To be perfectly frank, a recurring theme on this blog is sex.  The above words, to me, have always made me think of the taboo nature of much of the sexual world.  The shyness that is criminally vulgar is the perverse campaign by the conservative entities in this country that belief a lack of knowledge on the topic of sex, that a willful stupidity is the best method to handle such a complex topic.  Over time, through the efforts of pioneers in a variety of fields, such as Kinsey, Masters, and Johnson in clinical research, and Carlin in pop culture, that feeling has started to evanesce.  That discomfort we inherit when it comes to things of a sexual nature is fast becoming nothing in particular.  And I want to be one of those people that encourages that transition out of the dark ages of the hush-hush nature of sex and into a world where we're not afraid to have adult discussions about a perfectly normal aspect of our humanity.

That's how I try and live my life.  Those that know me are well aware of my willingness to converse about any topic from hockey to double penetration.  It's that casual integration of a variety of fields that makes this blog so fun to write.  I can talk about sex, or porn, or bondage, or hockey, or religion, or television, or pets, or my own life and it all has as much a place here as anything else.  There is a danger, I think, in spreading yourself too wide.  The term "jack of all trades, master of none," comes to mind.  (There has to be a self-pleasuring joke in there somewhere, it has both 'jack' and 'master' in it...)  But I always get comments from people telling me that they enjoy the variety, so I suppose whatever it is that I'm trying to do, I'm doing it with a measure of success.

One of the things that I realize I should have asked myself in my interviews (and maybe I did and have forgotten) is with so many risque topics, is there anything I've written that I have come to regret.  My answer is no for a couple of reasons.  The first is that I strive to be honest, and I believe that while occasionally unpleasant, honesty is never a bad thing in the long run.  The second is quite simply that I don't have much stock, if any, in what people think of me. Sure, I respect the feelings of those close to me, but the reason that we're close is because we understand each other beyond the need to judge each others' actions.  My friends and I trust that we're making the best decisions with the information we have available, and if we're making poor decisions, then they're probably either really fun, or will produce a really entertaining story later.  Either way, everybody wins.

But I do wonder.  Perception is a funny thing in that the same act can mean a thousand different things to a thousand different people.  I wonder how I'm viewed by those that read this, especially those that write themselves.  I harbor no illusions, I know that I am intelligent, but occasionally arrogant in that fact.  I know that I am very, very strange, but genuinely nice.  I know that I tend to talk about things that make people uncomfortable, in a way that makes them uncomfortable (and truthfully, I usually do it on purpose), and that it gives people pause in regarding me.  I'm probably the oddball of the Buffalo blogging community, and maybe the club asshole too.  But those facts make me smile, because if they're true, then they mean that I'm doing something right.  I'd rather be a weirdo and abrasive than forgettable.

I tend to occasionally spout a "read at your own risk" clause every once in a while because I know my content is not for everyone.  I don't really believe in censorship, and self-censorship even less than that, and I make that pretty clear.  So I'm not really bothered when someone has a disagreement with something I wrote, or my mom comes up to me and says "you have no shame, do you?", especially since I've found that the juicy stuff is the stuff that people like reading.  My Sexcapades entries, as relatively mundane as they are, have been among my more popular entries.  (Along with my Survivor posts.  Holy shit, EVERYONE wants to see Kelly Shinn's tits.  Hell, I probably increased my traffic tenfold for this entry just by mentioning her name.)  

Most of the reason I try to write with no shame is because I want to eliminate that shame.  I think it is stupid that people blush and get these stupid little grins when they start to talk about sex.  Come on people, this is a normal act, and everybody does it.  Even the priests are doing it!  Even more, everyone has questions about it, everyone is curious.  People need people like me, and other writers who aren't afraid to broach the subject, to do things like talk about blowjobs, and give a detailed introduction to bondage.  If there is anything I've learned, it is astounding how much people like to talk about sex, how many questions they have, and how much more useful it is to talk to even a marginally experienced human being than fuck around google for an hour.

So I guess that brings me to my resolution for the new year, to keep working towards that goal.  To talk about sex just as easily as I talk about football, or my personal life, or the Sabres, because there is no reason any of those things should be any more taboo than the others.  And if you don't like it...

You shut your mouth, how can you say 
I go about things the wrong way?

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