Wednesday, December 29, 2010

R.I.P. Sparkles

So we had to have our dog put down today.  Since the beginning of December she'd gone from mediocre control of her back legs to an inability to get up on her own to poor control of her front legs, and these past two days, an inability to stand up on her own at all.  Dogs are different than cats, I think, in that they try to hold on a bit longer just to please you.  Cats will stop eating when they're ready to go as if to say, 'f- this, if you won't do it, I will.'

Thus I think that Sparkles has been in more pain than her calm demeanor and wagging tail have let on this past month.  I don't know that you can ever be okay with something like this, but that our love was the only thing keeping her happy does make the euthanasia easier, at least for me.  Sometimes letting go is the best thing you can do.

I'm glad we were the only people at the vet's at the time.  One of the things I did not want to happen was to subject some little kid to the five of us walking in crying, carrying our dog who can barely walk.  Only my father, mother and myself stayed in the room when the injection was made.  My dad wanted my sisters to leave, and they had no objections.  People deal with these things differently.  Personally I'm glad that I was in the room as the dog went to sleep for the last time.  I was probably reacting worse than the rest of my family, but as she fell silent, it was oddly comforting.  I don't know if it was merely being there with her in her final moments, or if it was sensing the pain that she felt disappearing, but in some way it made things make sense, like it was a confirmation that it was the right thing to do.

Sparkles was around for thirteen years, you can't ask for much more than that from a dog.  I know that she loved being around, even in her finals days, and we loved having her.  Knowing that, I can rest easy.

We love you Sparkles.

1 comment:

  1. That was a beautiful thing to say Alex.