Saturday, November 20, 2010

Sexcapades: My First Titties (NSFW)

Ah, I was a young freshman at Clarkson.  The first semester of that year I had a class called GFI which was the mandatory English class for freshmen engineers.  In that class there was a girl who will go by the name of Ann in this story.  (I drew a nudie pic, that's why you need to click.  I'm sorry.  Please accept my apology of cartoon boobies further down.)

Ann was what we called a "schoolie," someone who graduated high school a year early to come to college.  They had their own dorm and were subject to a few more restrictions than the average college student.  It was quite obvious from the beginning that Ann had a crush on me.  It's not that I wasn't flattered by the attention, I just wasn't terribly attracted to Ann.  Still she pressed on from doggedly following me after class to IMing me constantly.


Finally, over Christmas break, I broke down and agreed to hang out with her shortly after we returned to school.  The plan was for me to watch one of my favorite TV shows in her dorm.  Innocuous enough, I figured.  I was wrong.

I arrived and Ann was wearing a rather miniscule blue (or green?) tank top.  Nothing terribly out of the ordinary, but definitely noteworthy.  Because of the way her room was set up, watching TV involved sitting on her bed.  Uh oh.  I don't remember how long into the show it was, but if I had to guess, it was probably about six seconds before Ann started getting playful.  There were pillow fights and tickling and general roughhousing.  Now, remember, I was a sexually inexperienced freshman in closer proximity to a girl than I had ever been.  My anatomy responded accordingly, making itself quite prominant in my mesh shorts.

This didn't phase me however until Ann laid across my lap with her stomach resting atop my cock.  There is absolutely no way in hell she didn't know what was going on.  She either didn't react, or I was too stupid to notice her reaction as we continued on with the show.



Fast forward about three days and I was again watching TV in Ann's room.  This time it was quickly suggested that the two of us go for a walk with Ann's suitemate who we will be calling Olga (trust me, the facial visual you're getting is probably pretty accurate).  Now Olga and Ann were exchanging glances and comments and laughter so I knew that something was going on.

I later found out that this was Ann's plan to woo me:
  1. Coerce me into coming over.
  2. Go for walk with Olga.
  3. Have the 120 pound Olga push me down in the snow (fat chance).
  4. Have the 120 pound Olga "accidentally" push Ann down on top of me.
  5. Wooing commences.
  6. Profit?

It seems like I am making this up, that I am exaggerating or being sarcastic for humorous effect.  I am not.  That was, pretty much word for word, the master plan.  (Probably what I should have expected from the girl who had to keep a dictionary near her computer for when we talked on AIM.)  Now I may be a scrawny individual, but the only way a 120 and a 105 pound woman are getting me to lay down in the snow is if my pants are off and their mouths are busy.  It didn't happen.



Cold and wet we returned to Ann's and Olga's suite, making sure to be covert since at around one in the morning we were way past the schoolie curfew.  With Ann's roommate asleep and my dorm all the way across campus, her bed wasn't looking like a bad idea.

Laying there led to spooning, and after about an hour I began our relaitonship by kissing Ann (that's like a handshake right?).  Predictably, this led to making out and since that was far as I'd ever taken things, my freshman mind was sated.  Ann, however, had other plans.  After kissing for a while, Ann started moving my hands.  Now I don't know if I was just stupid and had missed about thirty hints at this point, of if she was just really brazen, but she laid my hand palm up on her bed, and then laid her chest directly on top of my hand.



'Hmm, I think she wants me to touch her tits,' I thought.  Better subtlely move my fingers to be sure.  Ann moans...'TITTIES!'  And thus began my obsession with tits and the downward spiral of my life.  If she was going to let me grope her boobs, then I was going to take full advantage of that shit.  They may have only been A-cups, but they were nice.  It's like going on Survivor.  After so much time with no food, you're happy with half an oreo and piss-warm water.

A short few minutes later, Ann removed her tank top revealing no bra underneath.  I remember that in my head, I FREAKED the hell out.  There were titties, there was nothing in the way, and her roommate was asleep about ten feet behind me.  I didn't really know what to do so I took what I thought was the best course of action.  I put my mouth on them.



After what was probably an absurdly long time of being entertained by her breasts, the wheels in my mind started to turn.  'Fuck if I can touch these, I wonder what else I can touch.'  A few seconds later I was groping her ass and rooting around for her vagina-hole.  I tentatively slid a finger in and was immediately entertained.  'Holy shit, it's like a wet little cave to explore...this is awesome!'

Being young and retarded and way too entertained with her breasts, that night ended with neither of us cumming.  (Fail)

I "dated" Ann for a pretty horrible three weeks.  Sure I got to feel titties, but she was a pretty crappy girlfriend.  She was not intelligent, not conversation and not fun in any sense.  Adding an additional complication to the story is the fact that her brother was a Housing Advisor for her building so I got to endure some withering glares from him for violating his whore of a sister.  The relationship went from a week of making out wherever we could, to a week of her getting annoyed with the fact that I thought her only redeeming quality was that I could play with her tits, to a week of her actively trying to avoid me.  (What a reversal from when we'd first met.)

Finally she invited me over on Sunday afternoon to dump me.  I remember not really giving a shit at the time because I didn't really like her.  Then I remember finding out she was cheating on me (read: spooning with other guys) and caring way to much about this fact.  I called her a whore via AIM a few times (I was brave), and cemented her decision to transfer at the end of the year (which she probably would have anyways).

I wish I could say I am much better at dealing with women now, but I think the fac that I've been single for nearly two years speaks for itself.

3 comments:

  1. This 'Ann' sounded like a complete airhead that just wanted attention on her boobies. So pretty much she is like the half of the population of girls who will get their pants off for guys as long as they want them to touch their boobies.

    Also, I am impressed with the Vanek jersey in that last frame, lol.

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  2. Haha, I figured that would make it very clear that it is me. And I'll probably wear that jersey every day until I die. 7 days and counting.

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  3. This is hilarious!!!

    Check out my brandddddd new sexcapade blog if you have a chance :)

    http://sexcapadesofjswan.weebly.com/

    -J.Swan

    ReplyDelete