Friday, November 19, 2010

Sabres Hat Tricks

Someone over at hfboards posted a thread on hat tricks for certain players.  Some of the responses are pretty funny

BizNasty Hat trick

~Get Scratched
~Somehow get into a fight
~Tweet in the Penelty box about the fight

so I thought I'd do the same thing with the Sabres.

Ryan Miller Hat Trick
  1. Ridiculous save on an odd man rush.
  2. Head shake at retarded defensemen.
  3. Snarky postgame interview.

Patrick Lalime Hat Trick
  1. Celebrate wildly on bench.
  2. Celebrate wildly on ice postgame.
  3. Hug Miller.

Tyler Myers Hat Trick (from hfboards)
  1. Randomly fall down with the puck which directly leads to opponent's goal
  2. Score a goal from a position on the ice where you think "what the heck is he doing there?"
  3. Hit someone and have Bruins fans claim it was dirty

Shaone Morrisonn Hat Trick
  1. Look like a good signing
  2. Suck
  3. Get hurt

Andrej Sekera Hat Trick
  1. Make crazy move to keep the puck in the zone
  2. Hit someone and shock every sabres fan
  3. Make a pass like you were born without thumbs

Chris Butler Hat Trick
  1. Play
  2. Suck
  3. Make Mike Weber hate you

Jordan Leopold/Steve Montador Hattrick
  1. Get signed
  2. Make fans hate Darcy Regeir before ever playing in a game for the Sabres
  3. Be awesome

Paul Gaustad Hat Trick
  1. Win faceoff right handed
  2. Win faceoff left handed
  3. Skate like Andrew Peters

Patrick Kaleta Hat Trick
  1. Commit borderline charge
  2. Take crosscheck to face
  3. Chirp

Matt Ellis Hat Trick
  1. Do nothing interesting
  2. Say nothing interesting
  3. ?

Rob Niedermayer Hat Trick
  1. Rob Niedermayer does not exist, therefore a Rob Niedermayer hat trick does not exist.

Mike Grier Hat Trick
  1. Get more chances short handed than even strength
  2. Fuck them all up
  3. Sound French Canadian even though you're from Detroit

Cody McCormick Hat Trick
  1. Bust ass
  2. Assist in playoffs
  3. AHL to third line minutes!

Drew Stafford Hat Trick
  1. Miss wide open net from left wing
  2. Miss wide open net from right wing
  3. Be in a band

Jochen Hecht Hat Trick
  1. Score goal with feet behind goal line
  2. Score goal off goalie's back
  3. Score goal from bench

Jason Pominville Hat Trick (collaborative effort with Phil from BBG)
  1. Shoot wide of the net from the point
  2. Shoot over the net from the slot
  3. Break stick

Tim Connolly Hat Trick
  1. Try to bring the puck in on the power play skating one against three
  2. Hit the forward in the shin pads with a point shot
  3. Break something

Tyler Ennis Hat Trick
  1. Make every player on the other team look retarded
  2. Somehow get Mike Grier and Adam Mair to score
  3. Deke like you're still in juniors

Derey Roy Hat Trick
  1. Skate in on...hey look at that girl in the stands...
  2. Her boyfriend is kind of hot...
  3. I wonder if my personal assistant wants a three-way...

Thomas Vanek Hat Trick
  1. Sick pass to Roy that results in a goal.
  2. Sick pass to Ennis that results in a goal.
  3. Sabres fans bitching you should shoot more.

1 comment:

  1. I am dying at the Rob Niedermayer hat trick. I wonder why? :P