Saturday, November 13, 2010
My New Watch
So I got this pimpin' Sabres watch for my birthday. It came with six extra links to it which was precisely six too many so immediately upon opening it, I set off to the jewelers to have it adjusted.
I went to Monarch Jewelry about twenty minutes before my house because it was the closest and I was on a budget. I walked in wearing sneakers, red mesh shorts, a poorly constructed Thomas Vanek Austria T-shirt and a yellow faux-aged Sabres zip hoodie. The vest clad salesman, who was assisting an older couple with their rings looked me up and down like I was about to dip my dick in liquid swine flu and smack him in the face.
When it came my turn, he had me put the watch on to see how big it is. "That's huge," he exclaimed at the inch of space between the dangling chain and my wrist. No shit. He began removing links and had me try it on a couple more times. It was immediately evident that there was a growing problem. The fact that I have massive hands sprouting from starving African child wrists. We were approaching a threshold in which the appropriate size for my wrist might be too small to slip over my hand.
Luckily the ratio is just big enough for me to be able to put on the watch and bring you the picture above.