Thursday, November 4, 2010

First Grade Bus Penis (NSFW...dur)

Alright, since I showed it on my whiteboard and said I'd soon write the entry, I will talk about the first grade bus penis.

I was in first grade...or I might have been in kindergarten, I really don't remember.  Anyways, I was five or six years old and taking the bus to school.  My young self was sitting in the front seat, minding my own business when for whatever reason, I looked at the kid across the aisle.  For some reason my eyes wandered to his crotch.  Apparently I was a lecherous kid.

Of course it could have been the fact that his penis was fully visible through a hole in his shorts.  I was transfixed.  I had never seen a penis before in my life besides my own.  Thank god the kid was circumsized otherwise my sex-ed would have gotten off to a poor start as I was horrified by his disfigured penis.  But that didn't happen, and I continued to steal glances at his very visible cock.

Even then my young brain was struck by the oddness of the situation.  Several things just didn't make sense to me.  Didn't he own underwear?  Was he aware that he was waving his meat around for everyone to see?  Should I tell him his penis is showing?  Is that something that normal people do?

Making the situation even more confusing was the fact that we were in the front seats.  Did the bus driver see this flagrant display of penis?  (Maybe he liked it.)  Didn't anyone else see this penis but me?!?  Was I imagining things. 

I remember the kid was a year older than me and we didn't have class together, so I don't know how the penis story ends.  Maybe it found its way back where it belonged when he stood.  Maybe he just walked around all day with his penis out.  I really don't know.  I like to think that he was preparing himself for a lucrative porn career, and at the age of seven, was showing everyone the goods.

Ah, so many mysteries.  I wish I remembered his name so I could faceboook him and ask him, hey, remember the day your wang was out?  What happened there?  But if I did that, I'd probably only succeed in bringing back a really traumatic childhood memory and he'd have to go to years of therapy because of me.  And I'd feel bad.

Note: I forewent (is that a word?) posting images in this entry because I didn't want anybody to forever be associated with seven year old penis.  Just seemed wrong.

1 comment:

  1. hahaha that has to be one of the most awkward, yet funny situations.

    ReplyDelete