Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Dumping the Calgary Flames

Have you ever been dating a girl, and you realize that because of her unbelievably oboxious friends you can't see her anymore?  I don't know if that's a legitimate reason to dump someone, but it's my reason for dumping the Flames.

Calgary...it's not you...it's not me.  It's Lambert.  Now Lambert, Adam or Ryan (and I've given up on trying to remember which is the faggot and which appeared on American Idol) is the author of the blog I_am_a_Douche and a contributor on Puck Daddy.  (Note: Not the actual name of Lambert's blog, but he's not getting traffic from this site.)  He is know for being abrasive, obnoxious, contrarian, a Flames fan, and puzzlingly, a Sabres hater.  (As some Toronto writer put it, "Lambert is the personified case for not giving bloggers media credentials.")

I think what bothers me the most is the complete lack of sense that loving the Flames and hating the Sabres makes.  The odds in favor of the teams playing a game that matters are incredibly low.  It makes about as much sense as loving the Flames and hating pistachios.  So Calgary, it's not you, and I still love Kipprusoff, but rooting for something that would make that asshole happy just about makes me sick.

Plus I've been seeing this nice girl lately.  She's cuter, her friends are better, her clothing is better, and she just wants it more.

I'll be honest, I've always had a soft spot for the Blues, especially after pouring over attendance data and realizing, hey, these people love hockey.  Why?  Holy shit...because they're good fans.  I call them Buffalo-South.  The colors are the same, the team has had a similar lack of success, and St. Louis, much like Buffalo, is unfairly ridiculed.  (I've never been to St. Louis, but I'm sure it's very pleasant.)

So when the Sabres are out of contention (which apparently was about two weeks ago), I will be rooting for the Blues.  It's kind of like dating again after your partner dies, except it happens almost every year.  And plus the Blues are naughty.  They'll let me have a threesome with Nashville.


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