Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Choosing a Career

It's a difficult decision, one I still can't believe they let me make as a seventeen year olod high school senior when it came time to choose what University I wanted attend.  I probably wasn't qualifed to make that choice then, and if I had another chance at this age, I would probably still do things differently.  However, things seem to have worked out all right, and even though I am unemployed and single, I like where I am as a person and as a writer.

I think back to the movie Sister Act II (classic) when Whoopi Goldberg's character tells Lauryn Hill's character:

"I went to my mother who gave me this book called Letters To A Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke. He’s a fabulous writer. A fellow used to write to him and say: I want to be a writer, please read my stuff. And Rilke says to this guy, don’t ask me about being a writer. If when you wake up in the morning you can think of nothing but writing, then you’re a writer. I’m gonna say the same thing to you. If you wake up in the morning and you can’t think of anything but singing first, then you’re supposed to be a singer girl."
I take a slightly different approach.  I think that people should endeavor to do that which motivates them to be the best.  If you want to be the best singer, then sing.  If you want to be the best serial masturbator, then learn website design and develop a porn site.

When I worked at B&L, I didn't want to be the best engineer.  I wanted to be adequate, and respected, and thought of as intelligent, but I didn't want to be the best.  That, I think, was ultimately my undoing.  Perhaps I would feel differently if I found myself in a better situation with better people.

But when it comes to writing, I want to be the best.  I want to work at this, I want to improve.  I want to have the best stories, I want to have the most interesting characters, I want people to bug the shit out of me with insightful questions.  I want people to love the characters, to dress up as them and to write fan fiction.

That's why I can do what I did today without getting paid.  I woke up at 2:30 PM, and finished taking the dog out and checking e-mail by 3:15.  From then I worked straight through on Cube Wars until 2:15 AM, only taking breaks to eat, pee, and let the dog pee.  People think I'm doing nothing because I'm at home on the computer, but I work damn hard at this.  And I will be successful

No Power in the Verse Can Stop Me.

1 comment:



    There's much in the world that you can't explain.
    It's revealed for you to remember
    by the whispering voice of a distant train
    or a midnight rain in november.

    Horizon within! You can always find
    the keys to Enigma. Let's mention
    one basic Truth: of spirited Mind
    is Nature naught but extension.

    Internal expanses! In dreams, ridden
    by fear and longing you roam
    that deep Southeast in your soul hidden
    ...on your random journey back home.


    As a native Swede, I am particularly proud of my love poetry suite Sonnets for Katie.

    My Poems


    La présence; un coup de vie morte? non, ce n'est qu'être. Et puis pour l'errante fenêtre: étant vue la nuit, dans tous le coins des rues de la veille la même étoile.




    Schwarzez birne!
    Aufforderung zur Erotik.

    Fremde Gedichte


    En el archipielágo del mundo
    los recursos son concentrados,

    algunos barcos azulos
    partieron para la isla más azula.

    Uno grito bajo la mesa
    vuelca uno cantaro;

    visitantes paran
    en preguntas silenciosas –

    el anacrusa de una tromba
    remolinea en la biblioteca.

    My Spanish Poetry


    My Laptop Wallpaper Art

    CHALLENGE again. I say: generally, e=mc(n-1) for the n-dimensional room. I say this is close to self-evident.You think not? Then prove the contrary!

    Windor Mirrow

    And: reciprocity: for mutual benefit, you will do me a favor promoting your own blog on mine!

    The best way to do it is lining up as a Follower, since then your icon will advertise you indefinitely, and I will follow you in return. Let's forge a mighty alliance of synergy and common interest.


    - Peter Ingestad, Sweden