Sunday, June 20, 2010

Upsets in Sports Suck: A Bit of Truth

Unless your team is the upsetter, then they're more delicious than Alexander Hamilton's rotting corpse to Zombie Thomas Jefferson.

Brains indeed Good Sir

Upsets fucking suck.  They really do.  Of course, to any rule there are exceptions.  When your team is the highly undervalued underdog, they're sweet, no question about it.  And when the upset puts a ginormous dent into such an evil entity as the BCS, they're pretty fucking fantastic.  But after that (aside from the once in a lifetime upset) are they really any fun?

I think they're really fucking obnoxious.  It's great to have a mentality going into the playoffs that "anything can happen," but I personally prefer some semblance of importance to the regular season, and most fans would agree with me.

What's that?  You think I'm wrong?  When a major upset happens the ratings DO tend to go up because the nation's interest is piqued.  Anything other than a once in a lifetime upset however, causes ratings to go down.  Consider the five worst rated Super Bowls of the past fifteen years.

  • Denver vs. Atlanta - 1999  (Falcons upset a 15-1 Vikings team in the NFC Championship)
  • Baltimore vs. NJ Giants - 2001 (Giants, while the NFC's 1 seed, upset a favored Minnesota Vikings team in the NFC Championship.  The Ravens came in as the AFC's fourth seed, upsetting Tennessee and Oakland along the way)
  • New England vs. St. Louis - 2002 (People forget New England was the second seed this year, but they upset the third best defense in the league, Pittsburgh, in the AFC Championship)
  • Oakland vs. Tampa Bay - 2003 (Tampa Bay ran through the popular Philadelphia Eagles in the NFC Championship en route to the Super Bowl)
  • New England vs. Philadelphia - 2005 (New England defeated a 15-1 Steelers squad in the AFC Championship to get to the Super Bowl)

If an upset is sufficiently rare, people will watch, but by and large if a championship doesn't pit the two best teams in either league, no one cares.  (Note that while the Super Bowl's gargantuan ratings can hardly be interpreted as no one caring, by "NFL definitions" the above games constitute no one caring).

Think of it this way, how awful would the Super Bowl have been this past year if it was the NJ Jets vs. the Minnesota Vikings?  Maybe it would have been a great game, who knows, but would people have wanted to watch?  Would you?  Unless you're a Patriots, Jets, or Vikings fan, the answer is probably no.

We as Americans, when we're done looking after our own interests, appreciate justice.  And once our team is out and our interests served (aka that team of faggots that beat us loses) we generally like to see the two best teams compete for the championship.  It makes sense, it seems fair, and it cuts down on thoughts like "those mooks are in the finals?  Fuck, that could have been us."

Team of Faggots

Seriously, which is more appealing NBA fans?  Boston - LA, or Orlando - Phoenix (Note, even though Boston was the Underdog, I think they were still favored in their series).

What about NHL Fans?  Chicago - Philly, or Montreal - San Jose  (Actually they both kind of suck because Philly and Montreal were the fucking 7th and 8th seeds)

World Cup Fans - Argentina - Brazil, or Paraguay - Ghana?

I rest my case.

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