Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Bondage and BDSM: A Primer

So, as many of you are already aware, I have a very healthy interest in Bondage and BDSM. Some of you are into it, some of you are not, and some don't even want to know anything about it. This is a means of enlightening you folks, and inviting any comments or questions you might have. There are some common, and very large misconceptions about what actually encompasses bondage, so hopefully this will be able to set a few people straight.

First of all, the terminology:

Bondage typically refers to some means of restraint, whether it be tangible, such as rope of cuffs, or an implied mental control, one party being submissive to another.

BDSM stands for Bondage, Domination, Sadism and Masochism. It encompasses all aspects of the bondage fetish including restraint, domination/submission and pain.

Typically, one party will be Dominant and in control (Dom, Domme, Master, Mistress, etc.), and another will be submissive and controlled (sub, slave, bitch, pet, etc.) The level of control is entirely dependent on the comfort level of both parties. There is a third designation, a switch, someone who is comfortable assuming either role.

Here is where the most common misconception lies. Many people are immediately put off by the term "Bondage," envisioning heavy whipping, chains, leather suits and so on. Bondage can extend from a use of handcuffs or blindfolds one evening in the bedroom, or role-playing, to a Lifestyle BDSM relationship.

What is a lifestyle BDSM relationship, you ask? It is a relationship between consenting partners in which the dominance of one part and submission of the other is inherent at all times. Lifestyle pairs do not confine such things for the bedroom. Now that doesn't necessarily mean one part is bound at all times, or they are completely subservient. Like any healthy relationship a BDSM-Lifestyle relationship is one of shared respect between Dominant and submissive.

Now that we've outlined the definitions and some of the extremes in BDSM, let's delve into specifics. I personally consider myself to be a switch, probably about 70-30 in favor of dominance. I am not a lifestyle player by any means, but I do have a healthy interest. My favorite aspect is probably the power exchange, and in that, using rope as a tool of restraint. I'm also a big fan of bondage furniture, and customized equipment.

So thus concludes the lecture portion of our topic. I'd be very interested in any questions anyone might have so don't be too shy to comment or IM me :)

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